Running Diary: Draft Day Edition

22 04 2010

It’s the Official Running Diary of the 2010 NFL Draft, coming to you live from my couch. Get excited! We’re kicking off the broadcast from Radio City Music Hall in New York City with all of the usual suspects: Steve Young, Chris Berman, Mel Kiper Jr., Mel Kiper Jr.’s Hair, the gang is all here folks. The one ongoing subplot that I’m really going to miss from this year however, is trying to figure out which pick Jets fans are going to boo. With the 29th pick in the first round, it’s a safe bet that the Jets organization has a free pass this year, meaning that no matter who they pick, they can count on only a fraction of the boos they would normally get. With their recent offseason acquisitions of Antonio Cromartie, LaDainian Tomlinson, Santonio Holmes and Jason Taylor, I’d say that Jets fans are pretty content with where they are right now.

But hey, you never know. That’s why they play the game, and that’s why I’m doing a running diary. I’m planning on going for at least the first 15 picks tonight, or more, depending on how everything unfolds. The Giants are slated for the 15th pick as of right now, but there is a possibility that they may try to trade up for Alabama linebacker Rolando McClain. We’ll see. Aaaaaand we’re off!

7:15 p.m. – This year’s top prospects, at least the ones who have chosen to show up, are being introduced to the crowd at Radio City Music Hall. Luckily, neither Tim Tebow nor Colt McCoy chose to make the trip to New York for the first day of the draft, avoiding an unfortunate Aaron Rodgers-type situation where they’re sitting all by themselves at pick number 30 while the camera pans over to them nervously tapping their feet and Chris Berman makes awkward jokes.

7:19 – This event just proves how football-obsessed we Americans are. No other major sport’s draft comes even close to being the spectacle that the NFL Draft is year after year. The NHL and MLB drafts aren’t even televised and even the NBA Draft, which is the closest in comparison, only lasts one night and two rounds. The NFL Draft is now being spread across three separate days, with pretty much wall-to-wall television coverage. Astounding. It’s almost like the Super Bowl of the offseason now.

7:21 – ESPN returns from commercial to show us Oklahoma quarterback and possible #1 overall pick Sam Bradford sitting at his table and trying his hardest to avoid eye contact with the camera. Right now, Jon Gruden is continuing his assault on Bradford and the rest of the top quarterbacks in this year’s draft. I agree with him 100%. A quarterback like Bradford that ran out of a spread offense in college is a complete crapshoot in the NFL. I know the Rams will probably blow their #1 pick on him, but I don’t know if it’s the right pick. Personally, I would take Ndamukong Suh. I don’t run an NFL team though.

7:26 – Tom Jackson agrees with me. “The best player in this draft, in my opinion, is Ndamukong Suh.” I knew I liked Tom Jackson. He’s tied with Mel Kiper Jr.’s hair right now for my favorite panelist. The Rams are on the clock in less than 4 minutes. I like that for the first time in at least a few years, we don’t really know who the number one pick will be. At least St. Louis has saved us some kind of suspense. It’s the least they could do.

7:28 – My new favorite subplot for this year’s draft is seeing what moves, if any, the Pittsburgh Steelers make in an attempt to dump Ben Roethlisberger off on another team. I’m crossing my fingers and hoping to hear Roger Goodell get up to the podium and say “With the number one pick in the 2010 NFL Draft….WE HAVE A TRADE! The St. Louis Rams have traded their pick to the Pittsburgh Steelers for Ben Roethlisberger and his shady bodyguards.”

7:31 – And the broadcast has officially begun. The tension is palpable. Chris Berman says, “I”m excited! THIS IS A FOOTBALL DRAFT!” Thanks Chris, I’m excited too. Goodell is headed to the podium to kick off the proceedings. I think he’s been taking speech lessons from President Obama during the offseason. After a moving speech, he announces that the St. Louis Rams are now on the clock. Ten minutes and counting. If they take more than 7 minutes to make this pick, they should have it taken away. They’ve been on the clock for three months now.

7:35 – Gruden: “The Rams need a quarterback….they were one win away from winning zero games last season.” Bradford is on the phone with someone right now. I have a feeling it’s Dan Rooney. “Hey, how would you like to have Ben Roethlisberger’s job this year son? Some quick questions first…”

7:37 – Here we go…..and it’s Sam Bradford! The number one overall pick….guys….what a surprise, right? The first pick, not surprisingly, is booed by the New York crowd. They love booing at any chance they get in New York. I guess it was the Rams that Bradford was on the phone. Hey, anytime you have the chance to draft a quarterback that missed his entire senior year due to injury and plays in one of the most quarterback-friendly offenses in college football, you have to do it, right? I mean, there’s never a risk in taking a quarterback number one overall. Just ask the San Francisco 49ers.

7:41 – On the clock right now, the Detroit Lions. I think Suh is a perfect pick for the Lions. He’s a perfect pick for any team actually. His impact alone will be good for at least two wins during the season. The guy eats offenses alive. Plus, they improved from 0 wins in 2008 to 2 wins last year. That means they’re due for 4 wins this season.

7:44 – “With the number two pick in the NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select….Ndamukong Suh, defensive tackle, Nebraska.” I called that one. With the first two obvious picks out of the way now, we can start getting to the interesting part now. By the way, the crowd isn’t booing as Suh walks on stage for his photo-op with the commish, they’re just saying, “SUUUUUUUUUH!”

7:46 – Suh is a very well-spoken young man. Chris Berman enlightens us by explaining that Ndamukong means, “House of Spears,” after his brief interview with Suzy Kolber. By the way, good ol’ Suzy is aging pretty well. Just saying….

7:49 – Now on the clock, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They shipped Byron Leftwich to Pittsburgh a few days ago. So who is their starting quarterback for 2010? Josh Johnson or Josh Freeman? Which Josh is it? Will they take Oklahoma’s Gerald McCoy with the third overall pick? We’re going to find out soon…the pick is in!

7:51 – With the third overall pick in the 2010 NFL Draft, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers select….Gerald McCoy, defensive tackle, Oklahoma.” So, we’ve had three picks already, two of them have been defensive tackles from Big XII teams, two of them have been from Oklahoma, and one of them is a McCoy, and it’s not even Colt! What a turn-of-events this evening folks! Oh boy.

7:54 – I wonder how Colt McCoy feels right now. Not only was he not the first quarterback taken in the draft, but he wasn’t even the first McCoy. Poor kid, that’s what you get for taking your team to the BCS Championship game and then getting hurt on the third play.

7:55 – According to Chris Berman, this is the first time since 1966 that the first three picks have all come from the same conference. Interesting fact nugget. Now on the clock…the Washington Redskins. They’ve certainly made a big splash during this offseason, snatching Donovan McNabb from Philadelphia and adding the Ghost of Willie Parker to a backfield that already features the Ghost of Larry Johnson. Certainly a much-improved football team that will almost definitely start out the season 5-2 and then end up with an 8-8 record.

7:58 – And the Redskins take….offensive tackle, Trent “Silverback” Williams. Wait, what? I didn’t know that we were throwing nicknames in there too now. What is this, a UFC draft? Trent Williams is from….quick, take a guess….Oklahoma! How about this: four picks now, and three of them are from Oklahoma. Unbelievable. Were there any other teams in Division I football last year? Are we sure of this? All four players from the Big XII. I want to see this streak kept alive now. Kansas City is going down the 2009 Oklahoma Sooners roster right now going, “Damn, they took all the good ones!”

8:05 – We’re back, and we see Tennessee safety Eric Berry on the phone with someone. Then he turns to the camera and we hear him say, “I’m gonna be a Chief!” Thanks a lot guys. Are we going to completely throw out the element of surprise this year? Why are we doing Roger Goodell’s job for him? LET HIM DO HIS JOB, ESPN. STOP RUINING THE FUN.

8:07 – Sure enough, Goodell announces that the Chiefs select Berry less than two minutes later. A safety going 5th overall is almost unheard of, but according to Gruden, he “blew the combine away with his ball skills.” No jokes here. No really, I’m good.

8:09 – The Seahawks are now on the clock. I’m thinking Russell Okung…let’s see if I’m right. The pick is in and Goodell is heading to the podium now. I also just remembered that the Mets are playing. No score in the bottom of the 4th. Thanks for reminding me.

8:11 – Let’s see what Pete Carroll does in his first NFL Draft in over a decade. Tell me it wouldn’t be funny if he took someone from USC here, just as a joke. You’re right, it wouldn’t be that funny. Is Mark Sanchez still available? Under two minutes on the clock now, it’s crunchtime for the Seahawks.

8:14 – I just checked the box score of the Mets game. It’s the 5th inning and they don’t have a single hit. Again. They had 1 hit until the 7th inning last night. This team cannot hit. Anyway, the Seahawks take Russell Okung, offensive tackle from Oklahoma State. Yes, that’s yet another player from the Big XII. If you’re scoring at home, that’s now 5 Big XII players in the first 6 picks. Four players from the state of Oklahoma. I know, enough already. Cleveland Browns on the board right now for the 7th pick. This draft is flying by!

8:20 – Are the Cleveland Browns really considering taking Jimmy Clausen? Aren’t they tired of drafting overrated Notre Dame quarterbacks about 50 picks higher than they should be drafted? Come on Cleveland, don’t make this mistake again. Brady Quinn, version 2.0.

8:23 – Oh look at this, Joe Haden is on the phone with someone, tears of joy streaming down his face. I wonder who the Browns are going to pick. YOU RUINED THE SURPRISE AGAIN?!? You have got to be kidding me.

8:24 – Yup, it’s Joe Haden taken 7th overall by the Browns, cornerback from Florida. He looks extremely happy, actually a lot happier than someone who just got drafted by the Cleveland Browns should be. Good for him though. By the way, Cleveland Browns fans, welcome to the Jake Delhomme Era! That should be fun.

8:27 - The Oakland Raiders….here we go! Always exciting and unpredictable when Al Davis is making the decisions. Trade for Ben Roethlisberger? Come on Al, you know you want to….

8:28 – Al Davis: “Can we draft JaMarcus Russell again? No? Are you sure? Damn.”

8:29 - Damn you Oakland Raiders! They took our player! Rolando McClain would have fit in so well in Giants blue. That is deflating. Okay, I’m moving on now. Actually a good pick by Oakland for a change. Is Al Davis still alive?

8:31 – Uh oh, the Bills have their pick in already. And it’s…..C.J. Spiller! My favorite player from this year’s draft. I loved watching him play at Clemson, actually got the chance to see him light up Florida State in person last November. What an electrifying running back, he completely rewrote the ACC record books. I’m excited to see how he adapts to the NFL, although admittedly I’m not that excited to see him stuck in the forgotten snow drifts of Buffalo. Very surprised to see him taken this early. I knew he was good, but didn’t think he was top-10 good. Maybe it’s the shortage of quality running backs in this year’s draft. Either way, I’m going to enjoy watching him torch the Jets.

8:33 – Only an hour into the draft and we’re already getting set for the 10th pick. The Jacksonville Jaguars are on the clock. We’ll be back after these commercials that are most likely going to make me hungry, even though I can’t get up to eat anything because I’m afraid I’ll miss something important. Can I get delivery to my couch right now?

8:37 – Top of the 6th inning now, Mets still only have 1 hit. I’m glad we’ve gone back into our “Let’s Not Break the Baseball” mode after that brief two-game winning streak.

8:38 – And the Jaguars take Tyson Alualu, defensive tackle from California, our first real surprise of the draft! Mel Kiper Jr.’s Hair says, “It’s not a surprise he went in the first round, but it is a surprise that he went 10th overall.” So that basically means that he’s good, but not worth a top-10 salary. That’s it.

8:41 – We have our first trade of the night, as Denver ships its number 11th pick to the San Francisco 49ers. The Broncos will only move back two spots to the 13th pick. The Niners’ pick is in, so let’s see why they decided to trade up….

8:43 – With the 11th pick in the 2010 NFL Draft, the San Francisco 49ers select….Anthony Davis, offensive tackle, Rutgers! Alright, a fellow Rutgers alum goes 11th! I’m ecstatic, although not all that surprised. Davis was far and away one of the best offensive tackles in the nation for the last few years. I mean, anyone that can make Mike Teel look good, has to be worth an 11th overall pick. Let’s see if he can do the same for Alex Smith/Shaun Hill/whoever starts for that team.

8:46 – Now the Dolphins have given up their number 12 pick to the San Diego Chargers. No details on the trade yet, but the Chargers have their pick in already, so they apparently know who they want. They need a running back…let’s see what the Bolts do.

8:48 – I know we’re talking about football right now, but how many times are we going to put our ace out on the mound and then not support him with any runs, or even any hits for that matter. His last start against St. Louis, we had 0 runs and 1 hit in 9 innings. Today? Zero runs and 1 hit through 5 innings. Poor Johan.

8:49 – And the Chargers select….Ryan Matthews, running back, Fresno State. Clearly the second best running back in the draft behind Spiller. I think this is a good pick. They need a running back after sending Tomlinson to the Jets and Matthews fits the Chargers offense very well, he has a similar style to Tomlinson and will compliment Sproles perfectly as a pass-catching back.

8:52 – Denver sends its 13th pick that it just got from San Francisco to Philadelphia now. Hey look at this, it’s our first “EAGLES SUCK!” chant of the night! I knew the New York fans had it in them. Philly is most likely going after Earl Thomas to fill the hole at safety that Brian Dawkins left when he went to Denver last year. Chris Berman tell us that Earl Thomas plays piano in church. I knew there was a reason why I tuned in to watch the draft. The knowledge just flows like wine!

8:55 – So, with the 13th pick in the 2010 NFL Draft, the Donovan McNabb-less Eagles select….Brandon Graham, defensive end, Michigan. OH WHAT A TWIST! We just spent 5 minutes listening to everyone at ESPN explain why the Eagles were taking Earl Thomas, and then they go ahead and they…don’t pick Earl Thomas! That’s why we watch, for the suspense and the drama. Goodell is booed throughout his entire announcement, and then the anti-Eagles chants start up again.

9:00 – Seattle is on the clock next at number 14, barring more trades. The Giants haven’t traded up, so I guess they are content with their 15th pick, which is coming up sooner rather than later…and that means that this running diary is coming to an end. Somehow, I’ve cranked out almost 3,000 words in an hour and a half and I’m quickly running out of gas here folks. The Seahawks are now set to make their second pick of the first round already.

9:03 – Hey, the Mets are on the board! David Wright doubled to bring home Reyes and then Francoeur drove him in with an RBI single two batters later. 2-0 Mets, and finally someone decided to step up and save Santana from another No Decision.

9:06 – The Seahawks swoop in (see what I did there?) and take Earl Thomas with the 14th pick, the guy everyone was convinced that the Eagles would take with the 13th pick. So now we get to hear more facts and tidbits about Earl Thomas. It’s like he was picked twice!

9:07 – And here is the moment we’ve been waiting for…the New York Giants are on the clock. The “Let’s Go Giants” chants are starting up at Radio City Music Hall and all the Giants fans (and probably the Jets fans too) are saving up as much air in their lungs as possible in preparation of booing pretty much anyone that we pick. I’m excited for this pick, and also excited to end this running diary and get something to eat, because I’m starving and these Taco Bell Tortadas are even starting to look good at this point.

9:11 – Here we go, getting ready for the Giants pick now at number 15. Two more minutes left on the clock. Who will it be? Mike Iupati, guard from Idaho? Jason Pierre-Paul? We’ll see soon enough. Steve Young: “How embarrassing…HOW EMBARRASSING…for the New York Giants to be 30th in defense.” Thanks, Steve. Thanks a lot buddy. Keep twisting that knife.

9:13 – And the Giants select…Jason Pierre-Paul, defensive end from South Florida. I love it. Love this pick. First of all, anytime you can improve on a category that you finished 30th in last season, that’s making strides. I love defense, and I love this guy’s talent. I watched him play in the Big East, and watched him even terrorize Rutgers a few times. Great pick, and I hope to see him have an immediate impact on the defensive line, especially in stopping the run and closing down the gaps. I see him being very similar to Justin Tuck a few years down the road.

All in all, I’m pretty satisfied with the way the first round has gone so far. Spiller went 9th, Rutgers tackle Anthony Davis goes 11th and we pick up a quality defensive end from South Florida in Jason Pierre-Paul. That’s all for me, I’m going to call it a night. It’s been real, enjoy the rest of the draft.





The 2010 Schedule Is Here!

21 04 2010
NCAA Lacrosse: BIG CITY Classic - North Carolina vs Virginia APR 10

Hey look, it's the "New" Meadowlands Stadium.

Last night, the NFL (that’s the National Football League for those of you out of the loop) finally released the 2010 regular schedule in preparation for Thursday night’s draft. Earlier in the day, Roger Goodell leaked the season-opening Thursday night match-up in an online chat. That game, a much anticipated rematch of last season’s NFC Championship Game between the Vikings and Saints will hopefully kick off the 2010-2011 season with a lot of excitement and a lot less Black Eyed Peas (Please NFL, I beg of you, can we just stop the pregame “concert” that usually goes with this event? I guarantee you that a good 80% of NFL fans couldn’t care less about Fergie or Rihanna. And if I even so much as catch a whiff of Justin Bieber at any NFL-sanctioned event this season, I swear that we will be having a serious talk).

Anyway, I have for you, right here in this column, an exclusive look at the Giants 2010-2011 regular season schedule. I use the word “exclusive” rather lightly here, because I’m sure that every single major sports news outlet and blog on the internet has the information already. Take it from me though, very few sports blogs care about a random arrangement of opponents, dates, and times more than I do, for every April I patiently await the release of the new NFL schedule like Christmas Day. That would make today the day after Christmas, where I swear that I will not eat anything until after New Year’s and that I will not watch A Christmas Story again for another 364 days.

Week 1

September 12th, 1 p.m. FOX

Giants vs. Carolina Panthers

It’s only fitting that the team we closed out the old Giants Stadium with is the team we’ll be playing to open up the New Meadowlands Stadium, although I’ve tried as hard as I could to keep that last game against the Panthers deeply repressed beneath memories of Dave Brown and that snowball game against San Diego. By the way, is there a worse name for a stadium than the one we have now? I mean, we know it’s new, right? Why don’t we just call it “Meadowlands Stadium” then? Why do we need the “New”? Besides, are they going to change it after a few seasons to “Lightly-Used, But Still Smells Like It’s New Meadowlands Stadium”? I’m all for keeping the name out of the hands of a corporate sponsor, but if we’re going to do that, let’s think of something a little more creative then.

Week 2

September 19th, 8:20 p.m. NBC Sunday Night Football

Giants at Indianapolis Colts

Manning Bowl II! I absolutely cannot wait for this game, much like I couldn’t wait for the first Manning Bowl. I was at that game back in 2006 when we opened the season against Peyton and the Colts (who would ultimately go on to win the Super Bowl) and I remember thinking about how much more confident Peyton was in running the offense than Eli was. Even though little brother held his own in that game and we only lost 26-21, I remember thinking how great it would be if Eli became even half as good as his big brother one day. Then the next year we ended up winning the Super Bowl and it was Eli hoisting that Lombardi Trophy just like Peyton. I guess that wish came true.

Week 3

September 26th, 1 p.m. CBS

Giants vs. Tennessee Titans

The last time we faced Vince Young and the Titans was a total nightmare. I’m sure everyone remembers that game back in 2006. I believe it was November 26th. We jumped out to a 21-0 lead and everything was right with the world…until the defense completely collapsed, Vince Young started playing like Randall Cunningham from the early 90′s and then Rob Bironas kicked our hearts out with 2 seconds left in regulation to give Tennessee a 24-21 victory. That one still stings. The last time we hosted the Titans? Almost as bad. We squandered a 26-14 lead in the fourth quarter and lost in OT to the late Steve McNair 32-29 on December 1, 2003.

Week 4

October 3rd, 8:20 p.m. NBC Sunday Night Football

Giants vs. Chicago Bears

So, this will be our second primetime game in a three-week span. Giants fans know that we either look incredible or absolutely awful in primetime games. Take last season’s stinker against Denver on Thanksgiving night and then the game we played on Monday Night against Washington later in the season. It was like day and night. I hate to keep bringing up bad memories, but the last time we played Chicago on Sunday night was November 12, 2006 and we got annihilated by the Bears. How do I remember that date so vividly? Because I had gotten back from seeing Dane Cook at the Garden and I was watching the game at a bar around the corner and when Devin Hester returned that missed field goal 107 yards for a touchdown before the half I almost threw up on everyone that I was with. However that Bears team eventually played the Colts in the Super Bowl that season, so I guess we get a pass for that one.

Week 5

October 10th, 1 p.m. FOX

Giants at Houston Texans

Funny story (or not, it depends). My friends and I have a running joke we use at Giants games when an opposing quarterback is having too easy of a day and we’re not getting enough pressure on him. Usually we’ll yell “SOMEBODY TOUCH (insert quarterback’s name)!” at least once every time that team is on offense. This started back in 2006 at the last Giants-Texans game when the Houston quarterback at the time, David Carr, was running all over our defense. The guy sitting in front of us would stand up after almost every play and yell at the top of his lungs, “SOMEBODY TOUCH DAVID CARR!” Sometimes he would switch it up, depending on the situation and add, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEBODY TOUCH DAVID @#$%&@ CARR!” Anyway, we thought this was hysterical. Maybe you had to be there.

Week 6

October 17th, 1 p.m. FOX

Giants vs. Detroit Lions

Weirdly enough, I don’t have any interesting anecdotes or stories involving any past Giants-Lions games. I guess it’s because most games against Detroit end up being mind-numbingly boring or we end up losing and I purposely have a way of forgetting about every game that we’ve lost to the Detroit Lions, for obvious reasons. Anyway, this is a nice afternoon game in mid-October when the weather isn’t really cold yet, but it isn’t hot anymore and nobody knows whether to bring a jacket to the game or not. Usually if you bring a jacket, you end up sitting in the sun the entire game and losing eight pounds of your weight in sweat. Or the weather can throw a giant wrench at your head and it can be 35 degrees with 40 mph wind gusts. I don’t know what this has to do with the Giants and the Lions, but I’m just warning you about mid-October games at the Meadowlands.

Week 7

October 25th, 8:30 p.m. ESPN Monday Night Football

Giants at Dallas Cowboys

This year will mark the latest into the season that we’ve gone without playing a division opponent since the 1970 NFL-AFL merger. That’s six weeks without any games against NFC East teams. We kick off divisional play on October 25th at JerryWorld on Monday Night Football. By this point in the season, we’ll either both be going in opposite directions or we’ll both be neck and neck and this game will be an early test of fortitude. I can definitely see both teams being 4-2 going into this game and ESPN hyping it up for a full week and a half.

Week 8

BYE

The good thing about bye weeks is that we never lose.

Week 9

November 7th, 4:05 p.m. FOX

Giants at Seattle Seahawks

I’ve brought back enough bad memories in this column to give you all nightmares and flashbacks for weeks, so I’m going to leave this one alone. I could dig out a handful of bad games we’ve had in Seattle since the 90′s and every one of them would give me the chills and the cold sweats. Like the 5 false start penalties in a row? How about Jay Feely missing three straight game-winning field goals? Falling behind 42-3 in the first half? Brad Daluiso shanking a potential game-winner in the Kingdome? I’m sorry, I just said I wouldn’t do this. Needless to say, Seattle is never nice to us.

Week 10

November 14th, 4:15 p.m. FOX

Giants vs. Dallas Cowboys

We return home for the first time in almost a month and who do we find waiting for us there? Oh, it’s the Dallas Cowboys again. Twice in three games So before we play the Eagles or Redskins even once, we have to face the Cowboys twice? Tell me how that makes any sense? At least we get them out of the way early in the season, because those games tend to give me the most frequent heartburn and eye twitches.

Week 11

November 21st, 8:20 p.m. NBC Sunday Night Football

Giants at Philadelphia Eagles

Speak of the devil! Here are our friends, the Philadelphia Eagles. The team who outscored us 85-55 last season. Good news though Giants fans: Donovan McNabb is gone! The wicked witch is dead! Wait, what was that….you mean he’s still in the division? We still have to play him twice a year? Oh….

Week 12

November 28th, 1 p.m. CBS

Giants vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

This here is the quintessential late-November trap game. It’s a winnable game against a weak opponent in the middle of a bunch of tough divisional games that we are supposed to win by a wide margin, yet we usually find ourselves trailing by a touchdown in the 4th quarter until we finally realize, “Hey, this is the Jacksonville Jaguars, we’re supposed to win this game!” and we squeak by in the last 5 minutes.

Week 13

December 5th, 1 p.m. FOX

Giants vs. Washington Redskins

The good news: we don’t have to see Donovan McNabb until December. The bad news: I can see us going into this game at 7-5 and really needing a win to stay in the NFC East hunt and the playoff hunt. And facing Donovan McNabb with our season on the line is something that always makes me a little uneasy. (See 2009; 2008)

Week 14

December 12th, 1 p.m. FOX

Giants at Minnesota Vikings

For the 96th season in a row, we have to travel to the Metrodome to play the Minnesota Vikings in December/January. We’ve lost the last two games in Minnesota, however neither game mattered. In 2008 we had already clinched home-field advantage and last year we had already been eliminated from the playoffs the previous week. This season the game will hopefully be a little more important. Plus, we’re still in that stage of the year where we don’t know whether or not Brett Favre will be returning or retiring! Always a fun time. I like to call this period, usually from April to August, “Favre Limbo”.

Week 15

December 19th, 1 p.m. FOX

Giants vs. Philadelphia Eagles

The Eagles again. How will the first year of the Kevin Kolb Era turn out for Philly? I’m guessing that by this point in the season we should have a pretty good idea of whether or not the Eagles made a monumental mistake in ditching Donovan.

Week 16

December 26th, 4:15 p.m. FOX

Giants at Green Bay Packers

Eli vs. Aaron Rodgers at Lambeau on the day after Christmas. I’m anxiously anticipating this game. I think it has a lot of potential to be a great game and hopefully by Week 16 it will actually mean something. Although I won’t be complaining if we already have a playoff spot locked up by then. Even so, the match-up between Manning and Rodgers, two talented young quarterbacks, should be intriguing enough on its own.

Week 17

January 2nd, 1 p.m. FOX

Giants at Washington Redskins

We will end the 2010-2011 regular season on second day of 2011 against the Washington Redskins. What will this game mean? I’m not about to start projecting in April, it’s still way too early in my opinion. For all I know, we could be 11-4 at this point, we could be 8-7 or we could be 6-9, I have no clue. All I know is that if there is a playoff spot on the line and Mike Shanahan and Donovan McNabb are standing in our way, this could be another classic, old-fashioned NFC East slugfest.

On Thursday night, I should be rolling out a live running diary for the first 10-15 picks of the NFL Draft, so stay tuned for that.





Week 7: Where Super Bowl Dreams Go To Die

23 10 2009

I was 7-7 again last week. And when I say that I barely salvaged a .500 record, I do mean barely. To say that I’ve hit a dry spell would be an understatement. Picking NFL games is like playing darts with your eyes closed, you just hope that it lands somewhere on the board and not lodged in the cornea of the person standing next to you. Last week, I would have blinded everyone at the bar.

Week 7 picks, home teams in all CAPS.

San Diego (-5) over KANSAS CITY

I warned you about the Chargers last week. Maybe in a normal, pre-Kyle Orton world the Chargers could get by with a 2-3 record after 6 weeks and not have to sweat about running down the division title with a late-season surge, but this is a new world now. It’s a world where Kyle Orton is the starting quarterback of a 6-0 team and a world where Josh McDaniels is looking like the smartest coach in the league. It’s also a world where Norv Turner still exists and as long as he’s pacing the sidelines with a play sheet and a headset on, we’re going to have to keep hearing stories about how underrated Phillip Rivers is and how the Chargers are underachievers.

Indianapolis (-13.5) over ST. LOUIS

It’s been exactly one year and four days since the Rams last won a regular season game. Since then we’ve elected a new President to office, Kurt Warner took the Cardinals to the Super Bowl, the stock market tanked, Michael Jackson died and we bombed the moon. The bad news? The Colts will most likely add another week to their suffering. Right now the state of Missouri is about as useful to the NFL as Canada.

Chicago (+1) over CINCINNATI

The Bengals tricked me into picking them last week. Their strangely soothing tiger-striped helmets lured me into picking them when I knew that Houston would rip them apart. I’ll go with the Bears this week so that the Bengals can spite me again. Also, I’m glad that I had Matt Forte on my fantasy team last year, before NFL defenses had a chance to figure him out.

Green Bay (-8.5) over CLEVELAND

I thought it was clever how the Browns used an outbreak of the swine flu to disguise the fact that they’ve really just quit on Mangini and don’t even want to show up for practice anymore. I think that in addition to catching on as an epidemic, the swine flu will also catch on as a convenient excuse to say “I’d rather not show up on Sunday and embarrass myself in front of 70,000 fans with paper bags over their heads”.

Minnesota (+5.5) over PITTSBURGH

Brett Favre, also better known as “ESPN”s Wet Dream” looks a lot different than he did last season. I would know, after all I watched him week in and week out with the Jets, cashing in his leftover supply of Brett Favre Dumb Luck cards in between heaving interceptions and forcing balls into triple coverage. I don’t see the same Brett this season as I saw last year with New York. He’s only thrown two picks so far over 6 games and looks a hell of a lot more confident in the Vikings offense. I wouldn’t bet against him at this point because he honestly looks like Liam Neeson in Taken right now. Like he has a score to settle and he’s going to demolish everything in his path. Or else I’m most likely wrong and the Vikings will end up 9-7. Beats me.

New England (-15) over Tampa Bay (London)

I know that the NFL didn’t know just how bad the Bucs would be this season when they scheduled this game, but they should at least send a letter of apology to the entire country of Great Britain for dumping this huge pile of garbage on Wembley Stadium. After this game Goodell will probably get an email from the British prime minister saying “Sorry, we’re all booked for next year, so thanks anyway. You can keep your football over there for now, I’ll give you a call if anything opens up in the next 20 years. I’m going to go watch the Manchester United game now and down a bottle of Scotch. P.S. Thanks for ruining The Office.

San Francisco (+3) over HOUSTON

Since this league is completely unpredictable, I’m going to stick with the only thing I know, which is that the Texans will usually always follow up a good game with an equally bad one. So here’s to you, Houston, for providing some sense of stability in this world of chaos.

NY Jets (-6) over OAKLAND

Richard Seymour: “You can mark it down, the Raiders will be in the playoffs in 2009.” Ummmm……you know, if he didn’t specifically mention the Raiders I would be convinced that he wasn’t even aware that he was traded. But he did, and now I’m mad at myself for actually weighing the possibility of Oakland making the playoffs.

Buffalo (+7) over CAROLINA

CAROLINA (-7) over Buffalo

I changed my pick when I realized that Ryan Fitzpatrick, from the football powerhouse of Harvard University, will likely be making the start. A more interesting side-story surrounding the Bills this season is the disappearing act of Terrell Owens. I had a feeling that this Buffalo stint wasn’t going to work out for him, but I didn’t realize how much he would be phased out. It’s not that the Bills don’t want to get him the ball, it’s that they just can’t. I’ll give it three weeks before he starts doing interviews in the third person, changes his number to 00 and stops running routes.

New Orleans (-6.5) over MIAMI

I know the Saints fans are excited about what they saw against the Giants last week, but I’ve been directed by my agent and publicist not to make any more comments about that game, so all I’ll say is this: no comment.

Atlanta (+4) over DALLAS

The Cowboys have a lot to prove this week, but so do half the teams in this league. I hate when guys on ESPN or some other NFL show say that about a team because they have nothing else good to say about them. “They have a lot to prove.” Having something to prove doesn’t make you special or unique. It certainly doesn’t make you good. It’s all about execution and whether or not Tony Romo will look like a deer in the headlights in the fourth quarter.

NY GIANTS (-7) over Arizona

I would say 7 points is a bit much until you take into consideration that this is a Sunday night game, at home and the Cardinals don’t do east coast games very well. I want to say that last week’s game was this season’s version of the Cleveland game from last year for the Giants and that they will rebound this week. Plus, THEY HAVE A LOT TO PROVE.

Philadelphia (-7) over WASHINGTON

I’ll give the Eagles one more shot this week, on the road in Washington, even though I’m aware that the Eagles are about 0-53 in Monday night games against the Redskins. But back to back losses to the Raiders and Redskins will bring about something that every Philly fan knew would come but is secretly fearing deep down: chants for Michael Vick at the next home game. You know it will happen if they lose on Monday night. YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF PHILADELPHIA, YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

Last Week: 7-7

Season Total: 54-36









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