How Much Are the Jets Sweating Right Now?

7 03 2012

Let the Peyton Manning Sweepstakes begin! There’s probably nothing I want more than for a team to go out and scoop Peyton up within the next few days before the free agent period officially opens up on March 13th, so we don’t have to listen to the endless rumors and speculations for the next X number of months. I’m tired of it already and I don’t want to hear anymore about it, so I hope this is quick and painless.

But since we’re speculating, here’s what I think: No situation makes better sense for Peyton than going to Miami. God knows they need a viable quarterback and a warm weather team is probably in #18′s best interest right now. Nobody wants to come back from four major neck surgeries and spend the latter years of their career in the northeast or northwest or wherever it’s 32 degrees in December.

The Dolphins have a solid defense and some weapons on offense that resemble what Peyton was working with in Indy. Reggie Bush is a solid pass-catching back and is coming off of one of the most productive seasons of his career. Plus, he’s got a couple of young talented receivers in Brandon Marshall and Davone Bess.

Most importantly, they can (and will) back up the Brinks truck and dump a ton of money on him if he wants.

So how much are Jets fans sweating right now? I don’t care how old he is and how many experimental stem cell procedures he had. Peyton Manning is still Peyton Manning until proven otherwise. The Jets don’t want to have to face Tom Brady and Peyton Manning four times in a 16-game season. Nobody does.

I’m getting a kick out of all the Jets fans that think he’s coming to New York though. It’s hilarious how quick they are to not only throw their golden boy Mark Sanchez under the nearest NJ Transit bus, but then back up over him a few dozen times. Because that’s exactly what they’ve been doing the last few months.That should work wonders for his self-confidence that’s already teetering somewhere between “fragile” and “15-year-old girl with body image issues.”

And can you see Peyton playing for Rex Ryan? Please. His last two coaches in Indianapolis were Jim Caldwell and Tony Dungy, two guys who could have been replaced by life-size cardboard stand-ups and nobody would have noticed. In case it hasn’t been obvious for the past few years, Peyton likes to run the ship. Do you think his ego is going to sit around and watch while Ryan parades himself through the headlines week-after-week?

Anyway, that’s enough of my commentary. Here are the top 5 teams that I think have a realistic shot at landing Peyton for the 2012 season:

1) Miami Dolphins

2) Washington Redskins

3) San Francisco 49ers

4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers

5) Arizona Cardinals

 

P.S. If you don’t think Peyton looks good in aquamarine and orange you must be outside of your mind.


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Win and In

28 12 2011

As you can probably guess, I had a pretty good Christmas. If you have read this blog at all in the past few years, then you can imagine how satisfying Saturday’s win was, not only for the Giants, but for me and the rest of the Giants fans fed up with hearing Rex Ryan’s overinflated ego parading around in the local media since he arrived here in 2009.

It was a sweet, sweet victory that was made even sweeter by the fact that the Giants were the “road” team in MetLife Stadium on Saturday and had the pleasure of quieting a sea of Jets fans and fire helmet-wearing cheerleaders. Although things got a little harrowing towards the end, the defense came up huge when it needed to and the safety on Mark Sanchez that aborted the Jets’ final chance at a comeback drive before it ever really started was the play that sealed the deal for Big Blue. Seconds later, when Bradshaw pranced across the goal line to make it 29-14, it was pure ecstasy for Giants fans everywhere.

But as we went to sleep on Christmas Eve with visions of Victor Cruz’s electrifying 99-yard touchdown catch dancing in our heads, there was another thought that was struggling to push its way to the front of our conscious: the Dallas Cowboys.

Now, there is one game to go and there is only one team that stands between the New York Giants and their first playoff berth since the 2008 season. For all intents and purposes though, the playoffs began last week for the Giants. The motivation and fire and intensity that was nowhere to be found against Washington two weeks ago, was definitely present against the Jets, thanks in part to Rex Ryan’s week of unabashed trash-talking. Now, it’s the second round of the Giants’ playoffs and Big Blue needs to make like 2007 and dispose of the Cowboys and the battered Tony Romo if they hope to fight another week.

Easier said than done.

It all comes down to one game, a de facto NFC East championship game. The winner will host a playoff game in round one in their building, and the loser will have to deal with an 8-8 record and a once-promising season that ended in bitter disappointment.

On December 11th, the Giants traveled to Dallas and completed a wild and improbable comeback to steal the NFC East throne from the Cowboys, albeit temporarily. With their backs against the wall and down by 12 with five minutes remaining, Eli Manning brought the Giants back from the dead and kept their playoff hopes alive.

On Sunday night, the Giants and Cowboys will have 60 minutes to battle it out on the field for the NFC East title. So while the rest of the world is making plans for New Year’s Eve, Giants fans are hoping that the real celebration comes around midnight on January 2nd, not midnight on January 1st.


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THE NFL SEASON IS NIGH

7 09 2010

Now that I’ve come out of hiding and I’m not forced to watch the Mets anymore, it’s time to get ready for the impending NFL season the only way I know how to – by making predictions that I know won’t even be close to right by the time we get to November and also by taking cheap shots at the Cowboys, Jets and basically every other team that isn’t the Giants. Well, the Giants and any team with one of the players from my fantasy squad.

So now, at the request of absolutely no one, here is my 2010 NFL Season Preview and Other Random Things That Are Related to The 2010 NFL Season.

* First things first: How bad is Matt Leinart exactly?  I mean, not only did they not want him to be their starting QB going into this season, but they didn’t even want him to stand on the sidelines and watch. That’s pretty embarrassing if you ask me. When a team drafts you 10th overall, hands you the reigns, takes them away the next season for an aging former MVP, promises you the starting job when he retires and then when he does retire, signs Derek Anderson to take your job…..you know you’re doing something wrong. Or maybe he doesn’t know. Either way, good luck in Houston, Matt Leinart. I hear they have a vibrant night life.

* TJ Houshmandzadeh to the Ravens. Houshmandzadeh, spellcheck’s worst nightmare, now joins Anquan Boldin and the ageless Derrick Mason on a suddenly supremely talented receiving corps in Baltimore. Just like that, Joe Flacco now has a bunch of weapons at his disposal and the Ravens look exponentially more dangerous than the already talented team that reached the AFC Divisional playoffs last season and are only two years removed from the AFC title game.

* Let’s stay in the AFC North and talk about Ben Roethlisberger. Commish Goodell has reduced his suspension from 6 games down to 4. Great for Ben. To offset that good news, the Steelers went ahead and stripped Roethlisberger of his status as team captain. It makes for an interesting situation now because “I’m the captain of the Pittsburgh Steelers” was his number one pick up line in bar bathrooms in Georgia.

* Tom Brady recently remarked that he was not watching this season of HBO’s Hard Knocks featuring the New York Jets because he, “hates the Jets”. Why is this noteworthy? Because so many players these days are afraid of admitting their hatred for other teams for the sake of remaining gracious and sportsmanlike and because “it’s the right thing to do”. Aside from the occasional trash-talking that takes place before big games, there isn’t a lot of bad blood left in the NFL anymore. To hear a clean-cut All-American boy like Tom Brady come out and announce his hatred for the Jets makes me believe that we’re not that far removed from the days when players weren’t compelled to produce generic responses to pregame and post-game questions along the lines of “We have such respect for this team. They’re a very talented team. They’re going to be tough to beat.” Thank you, Tom Brady.

* And since I mentioned Hard Knocks, allow me to say that Jets head ringmaster Rex Ryan is dangerously close to becoming a caricature of himself after only one season running the show. Listen Rex, you were 9-7 last year. I don’t know if you forgot about the fact that you were 6-7 at one point and just about everyone, including yourself was chalking up the season as a loss. I don’t know if you forgot about the fact that the Colts sat Peyton Manning at halftime in Week 16 pretty much allowing you guys to waltz into the playoffs, when you honestly had no business being there. I haven’t seen this much hype swirling around a team that was 9-7 the previous season in just about…forever. You made the AFC Championship game, great. You were winning at halftime in the AFC Championship game. Awesome. But I’ll say it now and then probably every week until the Jets start off 2-5: THEY DON’T GIVE OUT SUPER BOWL RINGS IN SEPTEMBER. Settle down guys.

* Congratulations to Revis Island, finally being able to reach an agreement with the Jets. He turned down a 4-year, $40 million deal over a month ago, claiming that he wanted more guaranteed money. He wanted at least $40 million guaranteed. That contract was not cutting it for “Revis Island”. He wanted to be the top paid CB in the league. He wanted Nnamdi Asomugha money. So he held out for 36 days. Then, he signed a contract for 4 years and $46 million, $32 million in guaranteed money. So glad you could work out a deal, Darrelle. You fought for 36 days to get $6 million more and fall $8 million short of the guaranteed money you wanted. I think instead of Hard Knocks, next year HBO should base a show around Darrelle Revis trying to negotiate with a car salesman. He would probably leave the dealership after paying $12 million for a Toyota Camry.

Okay, enough ranting. And I managed to stay away from making fun of Brett Favre again. Let’s get down to business with my patented,

AMAZINGLY ACCURATE PREDICTION TIME!

NFC East

1) Dallas Cowboys  11-5

2) New York Giants  10-6

3) Philadelphia Eagles 8-8

4) Washington Redskins 7-9

NFC North

1) Green Bay Packers  13-3

2) Chicago Bears  10-6

3) Minnesota Vikings 9-7

4) Detroit Lions  5-11

NFC South

1) New Orleans Saints  12-4

2) Atlanta Falcons  10-6

3) Carolina Panthers  8-8

4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers  3-13

NFC West

1) San Francisco 49ers  10-6

2) Arizona Cardinals  9-7

3) St. Louis Rams  7-9

4) Seattle Seahawks  6-10

AFC East

1) New England Patriots  12-4

2) New York Jets  9-7

3) Miami Dolphins  9-7

4) Buffalo Bills  7-9

AFC North

1) Baltimore Ravens  13-3

2) Cincinnati Bengals  11-5

3) Pittsburgh Steelers  10-6

4) Cleveland Browns  4-12

AFC South

1) Indianapolis Colts  12-4

2) Houston Texans  10-6

3) Tennessee Titans  8-8

4) Jacksonville Jaguars  5-11

AFC West

1) San Diego Chargers  10-6

2) Denver Broncos  10-6

3) Oakland Raiders  8-8

4) Kansas City Chiefs  7-9

Wild Card Playoffs

Cowboys over Falcons

Bears over 49ers

Colts over Texans

Bengals over Chargers

Divisional Playoffs

Packers over Bears

Saints over Cowboys

Ravens over Bengals

Patriots over Colts

NFC & AFC Championship

Packers over Saints

Ravens over Patriots

Super Bowl XLV

Green Bay Packers over Baltimore Ravens

There you go, now it’s on paper. Later today I’m going to rant again for another 2,000 words about last night’s Boise State-Virginia Tech game and how it pretty much solidified our need for a playoff system in college football, and then on Thursday I’m delivering my picks column for Week 1. Thanks for reading.


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Live From Miami (Not Really)

5 02 2010
Super Bowl XLIV media day

Raise your hand if you know the name of the stadium that will host Super Bowl XLIV on Sunday.

Keep it raised if you correctly guessed that it was Sun Life Stadium.

Exactly. The stadium in Miami (Gardens), Florida that is home to the Dolphins and Marlins has had seven different names since 1987. Joe Robbie Stadium, Pro Player Park, Pro Player Stadium, Dolphins Stadium, Dolphin Stadium (yes that’s a difference of one letter), and most recently Land Shark Stadium. At least until 2 weeks ago. The stadium has gone through more name changes than Prince. To top it off, the NFL won’t really even specify that the game is taking place in Miami, because technically, it’s not. So, live from “South Florida”, it’s Super Bowl XLIV!

There’s a little bit of an identity crisis here, to say the least. As far as the game itself goes however, you couldn’t pick two teams with more of a distinct identity. The New Orleans Saints are the representatives of a city that had all but lost hope 4 years ago on the heels of the Hurricane Katrina disaster. This is a city that got behind just about the only thing it had left, its football team, and has now ridden on its back all the way to the Super Bowl. The Indianapolis Colts? They have an identity too, and it comes in the shape of their superstar quarterback, the 4-time MVP Peyton Manning.

There’s certainly an intriguing storyline going into this year’s Super Bowl that makes it more than just Saints-Colts. There’s the possibility of redemption for an entire embattled city, and there’s also redemption on the line for Indy: Coach Jim Caldwell and the Colts shedding the harsh criticism they took for throwing away a shot at a perfect season by shutting up the critics and taking the Lombardi Trophy. And of course, you have the possibility of Peyton Manning winning his second Super Bowl in 4 years and rocketing smack dab into the middle of the conversation about “Who is the greatest quarterback of all-time?”

So there’s that. There’s also the fact that instead of weaving my way through reporters and radio talk show hosts and TV personalities at media day, I’m stuck watching a bunch of retired coaches and washed-up players argue with themselves while they sit in the parking lot of Dolphin Land Shark Whatever-This-Stadium-Is-Called. I would like to believe that one day in the future my writing will grant me access to the Super Bowl, and I imagine that when that day finally comes it will be like a cross between the excitement of the first time I saw myself on TV and the excitement of when my plane touches down in Vegas in May.

This would be a lot more interesting if I was writing it from a hotel room in Miami (read: from a pool bar in South Beach while I sip on a margarita), but I’m not, so this is all I have on this unnecessarily cold Friday afternoon in New Jersey. There should be a foot of snow on the ground here by tomorrow night and we’re being subject to a barrage of news stories about Rex Ryan’s middle finger instead of other things we should be focusing on, like I don’t know, THE SUPER BOWL.

So we are now less than 3 days away from the culmination of this NFL season and by 11:00 p.m. on the east coast on Sunday night we will have a new champion. Will the Saints follow through on their jibber-jabbering and punish Peyton? Or will Peyton dispose of the New Orleans secondary much like he did to the New York Jets two weeks ago? We don’t know yet. We can guess though, and here is my guess. My guess is that this will be a much better game than most people are expecting.

As we get closer and closer to kickoff I feel that most of the country is leaning towards a fairly wide margin of victory for the Colts. And here’s why: you haven’t heard a peep out of Peyton Manning or anyone else wearing a Colts jersey pretty much all week, aside from Dwight Freeney and his ankle drama. Unlike the Saints, they’ve remained quiet, like a ruthless serial killer eerily staring down the detective at the other end of the table not intimidated in the slightest. Maybe the Saints aren’t intimidated by this, but I am. I’m intimidated by Peyton Manning, even when I’m watching those Double Stuf Racing League commercials (I mean, the guy knows how to dunk Oreos).

The thing is, Drew Brees has spent most of his career being underestimated. He was underestimated early on in San Diego and he was underestimated during his first few seasons in New Orleans. Hell, he was even underestimated at times this season, but he has carried the Saints through a 13-3 finish and now through the post-season and this is where he gets to write his own ending. Sure he’s good, but he’s no Peyton Manning. That’s what he’ll hear if he doesn’t win. If he does win – Maybe he stops being underestimated and starts to become a little more — estimated? At the very least, he earns himself the distinction of being considered one of the best in the league.

Super Bowl XLIV Preview

Now, the only thing that is left after all of the talking and the nerves and media day and all the questions and answers and more questions is for the game to actually be played on Sunday. On the field, at Land Shark Stadium or Joe Robbie or whatever it’s called, two of the league’s elite quarterbacks will be arm-wrestling for a Super Bowl title, and I’ll be digging my car out of a snow bank to pick up wings and beer.


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The Final Four

21 01 2010

 

New York Jets v Indianapolis Colts

You can’t say that I didn’t warn you.

Last week, I told you that this league was hard to figure out. Did you listen to me? Probably not, I didn’t even take my own advice. I went ahead and picked the Chargers to beat the Jets when I had a sneaking suspicion that something fishy would happen in San Diego on Sunday. Actually, it wasn’t even a sneaking suspicion. The suspicion was walking around banging pots and pans and blowing a whistle. It wasn’t sneaking anywhere.

So why did I ignore this and pick the Chargers anyway? Half of the reason is because I’m an idiot, and the other half is because there’s no way I could have foreseen Nate Kaeding jumping into a DeLorean and reliving the 2004 NFL Playoffs over again.

However, I could have foreseen Norv Turner blowing yet another big decision in a critical moment by opting to go with an onside kick with over 2 minutes to play. Instead of putting the pressure on Mark Sanchez to pick up a big first down and hope that your defense can make one stop, why risk giving the Jets a short field? Sanchez had thrown for barely 100 yards at that point in the game and the Jets offense had been unable to get much of anything going for most of the game until Jim Leonhard’s late pick of Philip Rivers set the Jets up at the Chargers’ 27 yard line.

I’m having an extremely difficult time with trying to understand how and why the New York Jets are going to be playing the Indianapolis Colts this coming Sunday afternoon for a trip to Super Bowl XLIV. I’m having a hard time for a number of reasons and surprisingly, none of them have anything to do with my hatred of the New York Jets. Believe it or not, they impressed the hell out of me in San Diego and for at least the next 4 or 5 days, they have earned my respect. Relish this, because it will probably be the first and last time I ever say those words.

In all honesty though, I can’t figure out the enigma that is the 2009 New York Jets. Forget about the enigma of the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE for just a second and consider the fact that a team that was 4-6 through the first 11 weeks and went 2-4 in their division is now one win away from playing in the Super Bowl. This is a team that had it’s own coach remark in a press conference that his team had no chance to make the playoffs. This is a team who is led by a quarterback that finished the regular season with 12 touchdown passes and 20 interceptions and had a quarterback rating of 63. 

Hopefully you can see why I’m so baffled. What compounds this confusion is the fact that I live smack-dab in the middle of the three-ring circus that is the New York sports media. For this reason, I am constantly witnessing the Jets getting raked over the coals for their latest embarrassment against Buffalo or their failure to stop David Garrard on a game-winning drive on their home field. Despite all of that, I now see a team that was declared clinically dead by an entire city of critics and sports writers only a month ago, march confidently into Lucas Oil Stadium with an NFL title in their sights. They have seduced an entire nation with their swagger and their cocksureness and judging from all the Daily News back pages these last few weeks, you would think that the Colts were the underdogs on Sunday.

Does America always love a good underdog story? Of course, and that is partly why the Jets have become America’s Darlings du jour. A team that nobody thought had a shot, suddenly has turned the tables with a rookie quarterback and a rookie coach who knows his way around a quote. And I’ll admit that any coach that uses the movie 300 to motivate his team obviously knows what he’s doing.

Do the 2009 Jets remind me a lot of the 2007 Giants? Yes. I find a lot of similarities in both the teams themselves and the paths that they took to get to this point. A young inexperienced quarterback, a relentless, blitz-happy defense that gives opposing quarterbacks nightmares and a steady, exhausting running game. And that is all I have to say about the magical allure of this strange and unpredictable Jets team.

Now, on to my picks for Championship Sunday. I was 2-for-2 last weekend, so at least we’re getting somewhere. I think.

New Orleans Saints 28, Minnesota Vikings 24

Last weekend the Vikings defense absolutely overwhelmed the Cowboys offense. Dallas rolled into the playoffs on the arm of Tony Romo and the suddenly breakout play of Felix Jones, and then rolled over Philadelphia in the first round. The Minnesota pass rush was too much for Romo though, and they were exploited in every conceivable way. Not turning the football over was one of the main foundations that held the Cowboys up during their run to the playoffs and that pillar came crumbling down on Sunday when they turned the ball over three times.

Can the Vikings replicate this gameplan this Sunday against the Saints and disrupt the rhythm of Drew Brees and the New Orleans offense? Probably not. First of all, they’ll be at odds in the Superdome which is possibly the hardest place to play on the road in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. Second, the Saints don’t need a huge game from Brees to win. Of course they would like one on Sunday, but it’s not a necessity. There have been numerous times this season when Brees played very un-Brees-like and the Saints still managed to get the job done. Then again, those wins didn’t come against the Minnesota Vikings and Brett Favre.

Nobody can deny that Brett Favre has been having one magical season and his 37 touchdowns and 7 interceptions look like numbers that the quarterback of Oklahoma or USC would put up. Could this be his season of destiny? His last hurrah? His final showdown? Sure. Will it be though? Probably not. I think that the Saints and more importantly, the Superdome, will prove to be too much for the Vikes. The Saints will get their first ever Super Bowl appearance.

Indianapolis Colts 21, New York Jets 16

To be perfectly honest with you, I think that the New York Jets match up better with the Colts than any other team in the AFC. The only thing that can derail the Colts offense is a blitzing defense that puts constant pressure on Peyton Manning and forces him to check off on his receivers a little quicker than he is accustomed to doing. It’s no secret that Peyton Manning is a little less Peyton Manning-like when he has to worry about  linebackers coming up the middle or cornerbacks coming from the blind side. If the Jets defense can harass Peyton Manning like they harassed Philip Rivers last week, they will have a very, very good shot at winning the AFC title.

New York Jets v Indianapolis Colts

There is just too much at stake in this game for the Colts though. Whether or not the Colts fans or the Indianapolis media will admit to it, Jim Caldwell has taken a lot of heat for his decision to pull Manning in the second half of the Week 16 game against the Jets. Even if they don’t necessarily disagree with the decision, every one has talked about it, and it is on everyone’s mind. Lose again to the Jets and there is going to be a lot of questioning going on and a lot of  criticism thrown in the direction of the Colts organization, particulary Jim Caldwell. There is simply too much at stake here for the Colts, and Peyton Manning for that matter, to throw anything less than the kitchen sink at this game. Peyton Manning absolutely lives for games like this. He thrives on it. Mark Sanchez? As good as he’s been so far this postseason, I don’t think he’s ready for this stage yet. And maybe that’s all it comes down to in the end.

I will tell you one thing though, it will be one heck of an AFC Championship Game.


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Ready or Not, It’s Time for the Playoffs (And Why I Think The Packers Will Win It All)

5 01 2010
Green Bay Packers v Arizona Cardinals

Aside from the NCAA Tournament in March, the NFL Playoffs are probably my favorite postseason event in sports, even when the Giants aren’t playing. Do you want to know why I love the NFL Playoffs? If you don’t, just skip the next few sentences, because I’m going to tell you anyway. I love the NFL Playoffs because you get one chance, and that’s it. There are no best-of-5 series, there are no brutally long best-of-7 series that drag out for a week and a half. There is one game and one game only. If you’re unprepared, it will show. Typically in best-of-7 series, the team that is supposed to win, will win. In the NFL Playoffs, anything can happen. Often enough, anything does happen. That’s why I love the NFL Playoffs, because you can have a team like the 2008 Arizona Cardinals get hammered in Week 16 against the Patriots and lose by 40 points but then suddenly get hot at the right time and be in the Super Bowl a month later. I love the NFL Playoffs because a 10-6 wild-card team that everybody wrote off two months before can beat the number 1 and 2 seeds in the NFC in back-to-back weeks on the road and then stun an undefeated team to win the Super Bowl. Do I need to explain myself anymore?

If you’re getting deja vu from looking at the games slated for this weekend’s Wild Card playoff round, that’s because three out of the four match-ups are repeats from last week, and two of them are even being played on the same field. If I was the Elias Sports Bureau I would probably be able to tell you if that has ever happened before, but I don’t have those kinds of statistics in front of me, so for now I’m going to have to go out on a limb and guess that it is a pretty rare occurrence. Both the Packers and Eagles will return to the scene of the crime from Week 17 for a playoff rematch. The Packers easily handed the Cardinals a 33-7 loss in Glendale on Sunday, and will hope for a repeat performance this weekend. Meanwhile, the Eagles are hoping to actually show up in Arlington this Saturday night, because from what I saw they sure as hell didn’t show up on Sunday, losing 24-0 to the Cowboys and also losing out on a chance for the #2 seed in the NFC. In doing so, they dropped from the #3 seed all the way down to the #6 seed, ensuring that they will not have a home game in the playoffs. Going from possibly having a first-round bye and a home game in the Divisional round to being the #6 seed in the span of a few hours was probably just as disheartening for Eagles fans as remembering that they’ve lost 4 NFC title games in the last 7 years.

As for the Cardinals, I think we’ve all learned our lesson about writing off teams that look like a bunch of ghosts with uniforms on in Week 17. Last year’s Cardinals team taught us that lesson, and maybe they’re trying to reteach it again this year. All I know is that Sunday’s Packers-Cardinals game will certainly be a lot closer than 33-7.

So two exact, carbon-copy rematches from Week 17 in the first-round of the playoffs for the first time ever (yes, I’ve actually done the research now, so I can say that with confidence), and that’s just the NFC. What about the AFC? Well, there’s the remarkable story of the New York Jets. Even Rex Ryan wrote this team off a few weeks ago, but now they’re suddenly the toast of the town. How did this happen? I have no clue. I can take a shot in the dark though and attribute their sudden and inexplicable success to a few things:

1) Their cream puff of a schedule. The Jets won 9 games this year against Houston, New England, Tennessee, Oakland, Carolina, Buffalo, Tampa Bay, Indianapolis*, Cincinnati*. Three of those wins came against playoff teams, including Indy and Cincy in the last two weeks, but I’ll explain the asterisks in my next point.

2) They beat Indy and Cincy teams that were pretty much only on the field to collect a paycheck the last two weeks. Peyton Manning was out of the game by halftime in Week 16 allowing the Jets opportunistic defense to take advantage of a terrified Curtis Painter to the point where I was about to call DYFS on Jim Caldwell. And then on Sunday night, they trampled a Cincinnati team that clearly didn’t have any incentive to put on a show. I mean, Carson Palmer was 1/11 for 0 yards before being replaced by J.T. O’Sulli-beard. If those stats don’t scream, “The Football Felt Like a Frozen Brick, Somebody Give Me Coffee and Get Me Out of This Game Before Kimo Von Oelfhoffen Comes Out of Nowhere and Dives At My Knees”, then I don’t know what does.

3) Every single thing that the Jets needed to happen in the last two weeks in order to make the playoffs, happened.

But hey, I’m not bitter! So let’s move on to the next AFC Wild Card match-up featuring the New England Patriots and the Baltimore Ravens. Ironically, the Patriots, one of the only teams that I have been able to consistently figure out for the past 4 or 5 years is turning out to be the only team that I really don’t understand this season. Are they good? Are they a shell of their former selves? I can’t even tell anymore. However, if Wes Welker’s injury is as bad as they say it is (and they say it’s pretty bad, trust me), then I fear for New England. And if Tom Brady really has been playing with broken ribs for the last month like Bill Simmons says he has, then I fear for New England. I can see this game going either way though, it’s like the Tila Tequila of playoff games.

So, with all of that said, here are my Wild Card playoff predictions:

Saturday, 4:30 p.m. EST

Bengals 27, Jets 17

I didn’t watch all of Sunday night’s game, I’ll be honest. Most of what I got out of the game, I got from glancing over my shoulder at the TV while I sat at a blackjack table at Showboat. What I saw was this: J.T. O’Sullivan’s beard, Mark Sanchez not throwing many passes, really cold fans, Brad Smith, J.T. O’Sullivan’s beard, Mark Sanchez looking confused. Somehow it was 37-0. It’s going to be a whole different sequel in Cincinnati on Saturday with the Bengals hosting a playoff game in front of their home crowd for the first time since the 2006 playoffs when Kimo Von Oelhoffen simultaneously ended Carson Palmer’s season and the Bengals’ season on the second play from scrimmage.

Saturday, 8:30 p.m. EST

Eagles 31, Cowboys 23

You can’t say the same about the Eagles Week 17 performance as you could about the Bengals. The Eagles had a lot to play for, probably just as much as anyone else playing last week. They just didn’t show up, simply enough. Now, they have to avoid the dubious distinction of losing to the same team three times in one season, and twice in consecutive weeks. JerryWorld is going to be packed to the gills for it’s first playoff game and it’s going to be up to Donovan McNabb and DeSean Jackson to quiet the crowd and get the Eagles on the board early. If the Cowboys build an early lead like they did last week, it’s going to be Blitz City for the Dallas D and the Eagles injury-depleted offensive line.

Sunday, 1:00 p.m. EST

Patriots 20, Ravens 17

This game is going to be about how well the Patriots defense can calm down the Ravens potent two-headed beast at running back of Ray Rice and Willis McGahee and it’s also about how many times Randy Moss can get open against the Baltimore secondary. If Randy Moss has a big day, then so too will New England. I think that the Patriots should be able to get it done against the Ravens on Sunday, but with Welker gone and Brady not 100%, they’re going to have trouble after that, especially against San Diego and Indy, should it come to that.

Sunday, 4:00 p.m. EST

Packers 36, Cardinals 33

I like Aaron Rodgers and I like this Packers team just about as much as any other team in this year’s postseason. I have a good feeling about Green Bay and I think they’re one of the hottest teams in the league right now, and I love Donald Driver and Greg Jennings, and this Packers team is my playoff team for 2009. They seem to me like the most complete team in the NFC, and yes, even more so than the Saints. Their defense, the new 3-4 system implemented by Dom Capers this season, as proven to be effect as it’s one of the best in the league. Their balanced offense is a perfect fit for the gunslinging Aaron Rodgers, and I finally think that it’s time for a coming of age for A-Rod. Beating Brett Favre in the playoffs for a ticket to the NFC Championship is probably the sweetest justice he can have. As you can probably tell, I like the 2009 Green Bay Packers. I like them to beat Arizona on Sunday and then I like them to beat Brett Favre and the Vikings next week and then it’s on to DALLAS, OR PHILADELPHIA, OR NEW ORLEANS! THE PACKERS ARE GOING TO TAKE THEM ALL DOWN!

Since I’m already all worked up I just wanted to add one more paragraph about something that happened yesterday in the Giants organization that excited me more than anything else having to do with the Giants since Week 15: Defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan was fired. As I watched the latest 44-7 embarrassment this past Sunday in Minnesota, I hoped that Sheridan would be out no later than Monday, and I (along with most of Giants Nation, I would imagine) got my wish yesterday afternoon. So thank you, John Mara, for standing up for your fans and for being an owner with guts, and for doing what the Wilpons will probably never do: FIRE PEOPLE THAT CAN’T DO THEIR JOB (*cough* Omar Minaya *cough*).


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NFL Week 14 Picks

10 12 2009

It’s been a few weeks since my last full NFL picks column, so I’m taking the time to give you Week 14, no holds-barred. The Thursday night games have been throwing me off because now I need to have my picks done a full 3 days before I usually do them, so thanks a lot NFL Network, for throwing me off my comfortable routine, and also for providing meaningless games that almost nobody cares about. Come on, Bears-Niners? Jets-Bills, in Canada? Tonight is no better. Steelers-Browns? These games are making me feel fine with the fact that Cablevision doesn’t get the NFL Network. No complaints so far. So let’s get to the picks. As usual, home teams in all caps.

Pittsburgh (-10) over CLEVELAND

Look, I know that I’ve shamelessly name-dropped my fantasy football team so many times in this column that I’m starting to sound like Nicholas Cage plugging another bad movie on Letterman. However, I’m now in the playoffs (at 6-7, it’s a miracle) and it’s starting to get important. At this point in the year, with Michael Turner limping around like House, my most reliable player has become Rashard Mendenhall, a guy I claimed off waivers in Week 4. Tonight they’re expecting a lot of snow in Cleveland. This game has “150 yards, 2 TDs” written all over it for Mendenhall against a weak Cleveland run defense that’s among the bottom 5 in the league. Am I excited about the possibility of him racking up 30 fantasy points on a bad ankle? Yes, absolutely, especially when the team I’m going against has Drew Brees and Chris Johnson. Okay I promise, that’s enough about my fantasy team for at least another 500 words.

Denver (+7) over INDIANAPOLIS

It’s Week 14 and we still have two teams that are undefeated. Some may call it a remarkable season, I just call it the biggest piece of evidence to show that the league has more bad teams this season than ever before. It’s not that the Saints and Colts are that remarkably good, it’s that the teams they are playing (for the most part) are remarkably bad. You mean to tell me that it’s just a huge coincidence that in the 37 years since the ’72 Dolphins we’ve had only one team go undefeated in the regular season (’07 Pats, of course) and now all of a sudden we might have two in one season?

Cincinnati (+7) over MINNESOTA

The 2009 Bengals are a lot like Santa Claus in that I want to believe that they are for real. So I will, for now. I will keep believing, even when Carson Palmer throws 16 passes a game.  (sentence deleted because of content about fantasy team). The people of Cincinnati are rejoicing because this is a team that is one year removed from an 0-8 start and now they have clinched only their second winning season since 1991. That’s fascinating. They’ll have an even bigger reason to celebrate if they can hand the Vikings a second straight loss on Sunday.

TAMPA BAY (+3) over NY Jets

Why am I taking the 1-11 Bucs over the Jets? Because they are the feistiest 1-11 team I’ve ever seen. Also because Kellen Clemens will make the start in place of an injured Mark Sanchez (out with a knee). Luckily, Joe Girardi came last week and showed poor Mark how to slide correctly. Fortunately Rex Ryan was able to get Girardi, because the other option was to get Jose Reyes to come in and show Sanchez how to milk a minor knee injury for 5 months.

Green Bay (-3) over CHICAGO

Okay, I think I’m safe to talk about my fantasy team one more time. I’m excited for this game because I have the Packers defense and I know that they are all staring at a picture of Jay Cutler right now and salivating. I’m thinking of a word that starts with “inter” and rhymes with “ception”. Green Bay is peaking at just the right time for them, and just the wrong time for the Giants. The thing about the NFL is that you need to take care of your own business before you can start counting on other teams to take care of it for you.

New Orleans (-10) over ATLANTA

I don’t know whether to be impressed or confused by the Saints, especially when one week I watch Drew Brees pick apart the New England secondary, and then the next week they’re edging out the Redskins in overtime only because Shaun Suisham can’t kick field goals (don’t worry ‘Skins fans, he was cut this week). WHO ARE YOU, NEW ORLEANS SAINTS? WHO ARE YOU???

Detroit (-13.5) over BALTIMORE

I was wrong about the Baltimore Ravens, I’ll admit it. But then again, so was everyone that gushed about them for the first two months of the season. It’s was a nice honeymoon, but I think we’re seeing what it’s like when Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco come back down to Earth. All I’m saying is, let’s not wet our pants just yet. On the other hand, Ray Rice has passed my first test of stardom. When I look at my opponent’s fantasy team (seriously, I promise, this is the last time) and see him on the roster, I actually mutter “oh crap” very softly to no one in particular. That’s what I call the “oh crap” test. Ray Rice has passed that test. Welcome, Ray.

JACKSONVILLE (-3) over Miami

It’s the 2009 Battle of Florida Teams Who Might Be Relevant Again, Only We Can’t Really Tell Yet, We Just Hope This Game Doesn’t Get Blacked Out! Only on CBS! By the way, the Jacksonville Jaguars currently hold one of the wild card spots in the AFC. What I’m trying to say is, if the season ended today (thank God it doesn’t), the Jacksonville Jaguars would be in the playoffs. Their fans can’t even watch them on television at home because they can’t sell out their games. Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2009 AFC Playoffs!

NEW ENGLAND (-13.5) over Carolina

You know what it means when Bill Belichick starts kicking guys out of practice because they got their $80,000 Hummers stuck in the snow and couldn’t make it to morning meetings on time. It means that it’s Serious Time and when it’s Serious Time, Bill Belichick is serious. It’s not anything like the rest of the year when he’s happy-go-lucky and cracking jokes with the media. Not anymore. He’s cutting off the sleeves to his grey hooded sweatshirt as we speak. I don’t want to be the Panthers defense this week.

HOUSTON (-6) over Seattle

I have nothing to say about this game because I feel like it’s between two 5-7 teams who basically play the same exact game every week. I’m sorry.

TENNESSEE (-13) over St. Louis

Last week was the first time in 5 weeks that I couldn’t tweet “VINCE YOUNG WINS FOOTBALL GAMES” on Sunday night, because Vince Young did not win a football game last week. This week however, Vince Young will win a football game and I can go back to living my life the way that it should be lived. Thank you, Mr. Young.

Washington (-1) over OAKLAND

This is what I don’t get about the Raiders: they’ll beat the Eagles, Bengals and Steelers, but then they’ll get trounced at home by the Redskins on Sunday. Of course I don’t know this for sure, but I can sense it coming. If it doesn’t happen that way, then we can just conveniently forget that I ever wrote this paragraph. Okay?

San Diego (+3) over DALLAS

Around here, in Giants country, we have a name for the Dallas Cowboys in December and January: Choking Hazards. That’s right, I said it. Let’s see you win something, “America’s Team.” I haven’t enjoyed a Giants win as much as I enjoyed last week’s win in a long while. Probably since the last time we beat the Cowboys. I’m not very fond of Philip Rivers either, but you better believe I’ll be a Chargers fan on Sunday.

Philadelphia (+1) over NY GIANTS

I hate games against the Eagles. Do you want to know how much I hate games against the Eagles? I hate them a lot. First of all, my brother is a huge Eagles fan, so the tension that builds up in our house the days leading up to a Giants-Eagles game is both exciting and uncomfortable at the same time. Second, they have demolished us the last three times we played them, with one of those times being last year’s NFC Divisional Playoffs. Needless to say, I’ll be there at the stadium on Sunday night with my brother, so we’ll see how this one goes. The last time I saw a Giants-Eagles game at the Meadowlands in December, Jeff Garcia took apart our defense like he was taking apart a bunch of Lego’s.

Arizona (-3.5) over SAN FRANCISCO

What has my fantasy football season come down to? Listen, if you’ve stuck with me for this long, then you’ll have to hear me out when I say this: my starting quarterback this weekend is Alex Smith. I’ve endured a long 13 weeks going back and forth between the likes of Matt Ryan, Donovan McNabb (even after I swore I would never touch him again after last season) and Carson Palmer (don’t even get me started about him), but now going into the first round of the playoffs, Ryan is M.I.A. like Andy from Shawshank Prison, Palmer is looking at a possible stat line of 9/22, 121 yards, 1 INT this week against Minnesota’s defense and I can’t possibly start McNabb against the Giants (as important as I think fantasy is, it will never come before my allegiance to the Giants). So it’s come down to this. Alex Smith. I’ve dropped so many Alex Smith jokes in the past few years that I know I have terrible karma going into this game. It all goes to show that the fantasy football gods really, truly hate me.

Last Week: N/A (out with a swine flu)

Season Total: 101-75


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Remembering the Beginning of the Eli Manning Era (and Week 11 Picks)

20 11 2009

On Sunday I’ll be making my third trip up to Giants Stadium this season to see a Giants-Falcons game that at the beginning of the season looked like it would be a late-November battle for NFC supremacy. After all, both the Giants and Atlanta were coming off playoff berths last season and looked poised to get even better. Now this game, while still important, is important for an entirely different reason. Both the Giants and Falcons are 5-4 and locked in a downward spiral. On Sunday, one team will win and improve to 6-4, possibly providing the momentum necessary to save the season and turn things around. On Sunday, one team will lose and drop to 5-5, making it very difficult to make a late-season playoff push. You can call it a do-or-die game, or a building block to bigger things or a hundred other euphemisms, the fact still remains: the Giants absolutely need to win this game. There’s no way around it. Coughlin called the Giants’ last game against San Diego a “one-game playoff”;  if that were true, the Giants have been knocked out already. But then something happened last week. With the Giants resting up on their bye week, both the Eagles and Cowboys, the two teams ahead of Big Blue in the NFC East, both lost. And suddenly this thing is far from over.

Sunday’s game also has me thinking about something else. It has me thinking about the last time the Falcons visited the Meadowlands, 5 years ago tomorrow. On November 21, 2004, I sat in Section 121 and watched Eli Manning, our prized number one draft pick make the first start of his NFL career. Even though I had absolutely no part in Eli Manning’s conception or subsequent birth, part of me felt like I was watching my son take the field for his first pop warner game, or something along those lines. I was still in high school at the time though, and these were still the days where Michael Vick was only 45% hype and 55% talent, as opposed to 95% hype and 5% talent like he has been post-prison stint. Unfortunately, the 55% of talent prevailed on that day and Vick rushed for something like 900 yards against us, in route to a 14-10 win. We did have a chance to win the game, but our last gasp drive was stalled when Eli was picked off by Keith Brooking. On that day in 2004, Eli was hesitant, he was a little unsure, and the impossibly high expectations that he carried with him from Oxford, Mississippi for the rest of that season, and the season after that and the season after that, made it extremely difficult for anyone to see past his shortcomings.

Did that all change when his playoff heroics helped us win the Super Bowl two years ago? I wish I could say it did, but in New York, there is no such thing as a championship grace period, as relentless and unforgiving as that may sound. Now, 5 years after that game against Atlanta, there is no question that Eli has emerged as one of the top quarterbacks in the league. On Sunday, I’d like to see that Eli. The Eli that’s a leader and a cool assassin in the clutch, and not the Eli from 2004 who looked like his lunch was on the way up after every bad pass he threw. I would like to win another Super Bowl (honestly, who wouldn’t?) and I think this team has about as good a shot as any other Giants team I’ve ever watched, even last year’s team. So it starts on Sunday, at home against Atlanta. Back to where it all began.

On to this week’s quick picks, sponsored by nobody. Home teams in all caps.

DETROIT (-3.5) over Cleveland

Mangini wasn’t the first coach to be fired this season? I guess cameos in The Sopranos do go a long way. You should have thought about that before you turned down the part, Dick Jauron.

Buffalo (+9) over JACKSONVILLE

And the countdown to T.O.’s first sideline temper tantrum begins….(checking watch)….NOW!

Pittsburgh (-10) over KANSAS CITY

Nothing allows you to heal the wounds of getting swept by the Bengals quite like a game against the Chiefs.

Indianapolis (-1) over BALTIMORE

This game has “37-3 Colts” written all over it.

NY GIANTS (-6.5) over Atlanta

I don’t know why I’m doing this. Please, someone tell me why I’m doing this. Oops, too late.

GREEN BAY (-6.5) over San Francisco

Brett Favre against Steve Young, should be a great game (2000).

MINNESOTA (-11) over Seattle

Brett Favre against Matt Hasselbeck, should be a boring game (2009).

Washington (+11) over DALLAS

Only because I know there’s no way that three different teams are going to cover 11+ point spreads this week.

New Orleans (-11.5) over TAMPA BAY

10-0 is when the people start talking. Can you handle that, Saints? Although the Pats 16-0 regular season a few years ago has taken some of that edge off.

Arizona (-9) over ST. LOUIS

Just a few more wins for the Cardinals before they go back to looking like they don’t really care. Just in time for the playoffs! Hey, it worked for them last year.

NY Jets (+10.5) over NEW ENGLAND

No I will not take the Patriots! Rex Ryan cried during a team meeting this week. HE CRIED. Do you know what that means?

Cincinnati (-9.5) over OAKLAND

Part of me is hoping for this game to be close so that a few people will vacate the Bengals bandwagon. I’m in Standing Room Only right now. My legs are getting tired and I’d like to have a seat.

San Diego (-3) over DENVER

Broncos should have stuck with wearing their mustard and brown Denver Omelettes uniforms. Ugly uniforms help teams win, just ask the Jets and Bucs.

Philadelphia (-3) over CHICAGO

-3 is the spread, and also what Jay Cutler fantasy owners see every time he throws another INT. I’m just kidding, I know that there aren’t any Jay Cutler fantasy owners….right?

Tennessee (+4.5) over HOUSTON

VINCE YOUNG WINS FOOTBALL GAMES.

Last Week: 7-8

Season Total: 81-63


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