The Donovan McNabb Saga

29 03 2010

The relationship between Donovan McNabb and Philadelphia Eagles fans has always been an intriguing one. Which is to say that unless you are a Philadelphia Eagles fan, you’re not likely to ever fully understand it. Ever since Day One, I have witnessed what has perhaps become the most tumultuous relationship that a hugely popular “franchise player” has ever had with his franchise and his fan-base. From the day he was taken by the Eagles with the second overall pick in the 1999 NFL Draft, up until the day he will inevitably be traded to the Raiders or the Vikings or the Bills, the plight of Donovan McNabb will likely remain an enigma to most.

When the Eagles drafted Donovan McNabb out of Syracuse in the 1999 NFL Draft, he was booed heavily. The first thing Donovan McNabb heard when he stood next to Paul Tagliabue and held up a Philadelphia Eagles jersey for the first time, was a barrage of boo’s from the Philly faithful. How nice of them to welcome him so warmly. Although the Eagles were mired in a period in which they went through numerous second-rate starting quarterbacks, including but not limited to the likes of Bobby Hoying and Ty Detmer, Eagles fans still believed that drafting Ricky Williams was the direction that the franchise needed to take. In hindsight, was taking McNabb over Williams the right choice? Yes, of course it was. However, this doesn’t change the way most Philly fans feel about their franchise quarterback. Needless to say, the 1999 NFL Draft would be a harbinger of things to come over the next decade.

If nothing else, Donovan McNabb is certainly a polarizing figure in Philadelphia. Over the last 10 years, he has alternated between hero, villain and complete enigma more times than John Locke in the last 6 seasons of LOST and sometimes those transformations can take place over the course of a few weeks, a few days or even one quarter of a game. For someone who is been the star player and undisputable leader of a winning football team over the course of an entire decade, he has to lead the league for the most times his team has threatened to cut him, trade him or bench him.

It’s no surprise that he and Head Coach Andy Reid have clashed over the years, and while we can watch countless puff pieces on FOX pregame shows that portray the two as being best buddies, we all know the truth: Andy Reid doesn’t trust Donovan McNabb. Benching him in the second half of a regular-season game against Baltimore a few seasons ago was a heavily criticized move at the time, but it served to light a fire under McNabb, as he eventually led the Eagles to the NFC Championship later that season where they would lose to the Arizona Cardinals.

Which brings me to my next point: Donovan McNabb knows how to win. Now, here is where the gallery chimes in, in unison, with a resounding, “What has he won?” And the answer is: nothing substantial — yet. No, he hasn’t won a Super Bowl yet, but he’s been to one. Stats are stats, and this one clearly speaks for itself: since McNabb was drafted in 1999, he has led the Eagles to the playoffs 8 times. In that same time span, only one team (and one quarterback) has been to the playoffs more than McNabb and Philadelphia. That team? The Indianapolis Colts. Peyton Manning has one Super Bowl ring, and he’s made two appearances, but it took him 8 years to even make his first Super Bowl, while McNabb reached the big game in his 6th season. Am I comparing Donovan McNabb to Peyton Manning? No, all I’m saying is that over the last decade, not many quarterbacks have been as consistent as Donovan McNabb. His 9 wins in the playoffs are the third best among active quarterbacks behind only Tom Brady and Brett Favre.

Now I can throw stats around all day, but they don’t really do much. Almost every off-season for the last five or six years, Donovan McNabb’s name has been floated through the rumor mills and it’s almost become expected to hear writers and analysts wonder whether he’ll lose his starting job after a bad game in Week 5. With my brother being a diehard Eagles fan, and having watched McNabb and the Eagles almost every Sunday for as long as I can remember, this is something I’m typically used to.

Not to this degree though. This time, it seems like the Eagles organization is going out of their way to dangle McNabb out there in the open, leaving him available for any team that shows interest or makes an offer. This year, they’re opening themselves up to the possibility that no team makes a trade for McNabb and he returns to the field in September as the starting quarterback knowing that his entire organization doesn’t really want him to the be the starting quarterback. Is that any way to treat your franchise quarterback? Maybe it was the Eagles early exit from the playoffs this season, or maybe it’s McNabb’s frequent injuries that make the front office unsure if they can leave the team in his hands, but whatever it is, I’m sure there are better ways to go about this.

McNabb is still only 33 years old. He has played 11 seasons in the National Football League already and has suffered his fair share of bad injuries, but 33 isn’t that old, especially when it comes to the quarterback position. Peyton Manning turned 33 last month, and no one is going to argue that he’s even remotely close to being washed up. Both Kurt Warner and Brett Favre won playoff games last season at the ages of 38 and 40 respectively. In fact, Brett Favre came within one bad pass of playing in the Super Bowl.

Donovan McNabb still has a lot left in his tank as a quarterback in the NFL, whether or not he starts the 2010 season with the Philadelphia Eagles. If they ship him away for a draft pick in the next month, I will assure you that whatever team he does end up with will be competitive. Maybe not immediately, but he will have a noticeable impact, even if he ends up in Oakland. Yes, you read that right, I believe that Donovan McNabb can turn the Oakland Raiders into a playoff team.

As a Giants fan and someone who has been tortured by Donovan McNabb year in and year out, I’ll be honest and say that I won’t miss him if he leaves the NFC East. I would much rather face Kevin Kolb’s Eagles twice a year than Donovan McNabb’s Eagles (although in Kolb’s defense, we haven’t really seen much of him yet). Will the Giants-Eagles rivalry be a little different without No. 5? Of course it will, because even though I hate him twice a year, I look forward to Giants-Eagles games because of him, because I respect him just as much as I dislike him. And, if he can get the respect of a New York Giants fan, he certainly deserves the respect of his organization and his fans.





You Would Think I Don’t Even Watch Football

14 01 2010
Cincinnati Bengals v New York Jets

The NFL is an enigma. It’s not completely beyond comprehension, but it’s a lot harder to understand than baseball or even the NBA. Parity is one of the reason for this, but most of it stems from the fact that there are hundreds of mitigating factors that are in play every time two teams step on the field to do battle. Home field, momentum, teams with a chip on their shoulder, injuries, mistakes, rookie quarterbacks playing on the road, and coaches that don’t know how to properly manage the clock. These are only a few of the things that go into what ultimately decides every game in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, especially playoff games. The playoffs amplify everything by 100 and put every single flaw that a team may have under a microscope.

I’m not making excuses for myself. I went 0-for-4 in my picks last weekend. If you go back and read those picks after the fact you might even go as far as to assume that I don’t watch any football. Being completely an utterly wrong about each and every one of the Wild Card playoff games is not going to convince anyone that I actually watch 10+ hours of football every Sunday during the regular season. A person that watches 10+ hours of football every Sunday doesn’t go 0-for-4 in the first round of the playoffs.

But…this is the NFL, and in the NFL things like this happen in the first round of the playoffs:

1) A rookie quarterback, who looked like he was having a Chernobyl-like nuclear meltdown a few weeks ago, can win a road playoff game. By the way, this rookie quarterback is Mark Sanchez. Nevermind the fact that he’s now drawing eerie comparisons to Eli Manning’s breakout 2007 season in the New York media, this is the same Mark Sanchez who couldn’t muster more than 7 points at home against an Atlanta Falcons pass defense that was next to last in passing yards per game allowed.

2) The second-ranked overall defense will show up in Arizona and get torched for 51 points. Yes, 51 points. Even more ridiculous: the Cardinals scored 51 points and still needed overtime to beat the Packers.

3) Joe Flacco 33, Tom Brady 14. In Foxborough. To be honest with you, that’s a little misleading though, because Joe Flacco only threw for 36 yards on Sunday. That’s all. The Ravens beat the Pats 33-14, on the road, and their starting quarterback had 36 yards passing. How? Ray Rice, that’s how.

So, knowing that I not only embarrassed myself last week by going 0-for-4, but also lost my Super Bowl pick after the first round, I will put a unique twist on my picks of the Divisional Playoffs. I will pick the opposite of whatever my instinct tells me this week. That means that whatever I say in the next few paragraphs is the complete and total opposite of what my obviously flawed football intuition is telling me. This is a win/win situation, because if I go 0-for-4 again, it would mean my original instincts were correct. Try to stay with me here.

Saturday, 4:30 p.m.

Saints 33, Cardinals 27

There is no way that Kurt Warner has another game in him like the one he played against Green Bay last week. There is also no way that New Orleans is feeling a little out of sync after losing the last three games of the regular season. It doesn’t matter at all that their last convincing win came against the Patriots all the way back on November 30th. We’ve seen this happen year after year, number one seeds that sputter out towards the end of the regular season, but then rebound once the playoffs start. They are not in any danger of a hot team like the Cardinals coming in and stealing the game from them with an early ambush. Nope. Not in the NFL.

Saturday, 8:00 p.m.

Ravens 24, Colts 20

I forgot what the rule was — always bet against Peyton Manning in primetime games, right? I’m pretty sure that was it. Also, does anyone remember what happened to the Colts in the playoffs last year? They lost to the 8-8 Chargers who snuck into the playoffs by stealing the AFC West right out from under a reeling Broncos team (the Broncos are getting awfully good at tanking the second half of the season). So this is actually a no-brainer. The Ravens are coming off of a big win, Jim Caldwell is taking a ton of heat for pulling Manning against the Jets and Lucas Oil Stadium is not a difficult place for a young quarterback like Joe Flacco to win a road playoff game.

Sunday, 1:00 p.m.

Cowboys 41, Vikings 10

This game has stumped NFL analysts and ESPN’s talking heads all week. Nobody really knows how to pick this game. I do though. I know exactly who to pick. The Cowboys look like one of the hottest teams in the league right now and the Vikings don’t. Is it that simple? Apparently. Are you really going to make the mistake of backing Brett Favre in the playoffs at 40 years old? I dare you.

Sunday, 4:00 p.m.

Jets 27, Chargers 24  OT

You have to be a moron not to back Mark Sanchez on the road in the biggest game of his career against a team that’s won 11 games in a row. Seriously. Anyone who watches football, in fact anyone who even knows the definition of the word “football”, knows that the Jets will march in to Qualcomm Stadium on Sunday and their top-ranked defense will stifle the hottest team in football. I swear, sometimes this league is so easy to figure out.





Giants-Cardinals Running Diary

27 10 2009

ALSO FEATURED ON THE OFFICIAL NY GIANTS BLOG AT GEAR UP FOR SPORTS

I think it’s about time for me to break out a running diary, and what would be a better occasion for it than a Sunday night game on national television against the defending NFC Champs? Just know that this live account of the game was preceded by 4 hours of tailgating and took place in the very last row of Giants Stadium on a perfectly brisk late-October night. In other words, the circumstances couldn’t be more perfect. Unfortunately, the game didn’t really follow suit. But here’s how it unfolded, for you to relive over and over again, free of charge. You’ll thank me later….10,000 words later.

4:45 p.m.: There’s always a unique atmosphere in the parking lot before night games, which is why I love coming to them. I think that having 6+ hours to drink beer and cook food, coupled with the fact that you have more than 6 hours to drink beer and eat food, is what makes it so special. Wait, did I just list the same reason twice? For the record, my buddy Dan and I are cooking chicken skewers, shrimp and bratwurst tonight. Best menu of the season so far.

5:37 p.m.: I’ve already counted 6 Cardinals jerseys here in the parking lot, which is 6 more than I saw the last time the Cards visited Giants Stadium in 2005. I guess we can chalk that up as being one of the benefits of playing in the Super Bowl; their fans are no longer afraid to leave the house without paper bags over their heads.

6:11 p.m.: Lawrence Taylor was signing autographs outside Gate C for the past hour. The line to see him was longer than the line for the port-a-john, so I had to make a judgment call. I chose to relieve myself. Chalk one up for tailgating. The score: Tailgating 1, Me 0.

7:09 p.m.: Someone is shooting off fireworks over by the racetrack and the people tailgating next to us are playing Christmas music. Oddly enough, these two separate events have me really excited for the game to start. Some things can’t be explained and other things shouldn’t have to be explained. I think this falls into both categories.

8:02 p.m.: Heading into the Stadium along with the masses. On the line waiting to get patted down by security, I hear a guy in front of me remark to his friend, “See, I told you night games are different” as four guys in Jacobs jerseys in front of them are forced to throw out the unopened beers they managed to stuff inside their jackets. Have I mentioned that I love night games?

8:26 p.m.: Tonight we are honoring the 1986 Super Bowl Championship team. Lawrence Taylor gets a standing ovation when he is introduced and I can’t help but think that this should help inspire the defense, in case they’re not already sufficiently inspired. It would be blasphemous to not play well with legends like LT, Harry Carson and Leonard Marshall watching from the sidelines.

1st Quarter

14:54 – On the first play from scrimmage, Warner hits Steve Breaston over the middle for 23 yards to the Giants 43. He’s tackled by….guess who….C.C. Brown! I’m having Vietnam flashbacks of last week and we’ve only played 6 seconds.

13:39 – I forgot to mention that in addition to honoring the ’86 team, Giants Stadium is going to be playing 80′s songs all night. We were just treated to “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins during the last TV timeout. I don’t know why this is important, but the Cardinals are now on the Giants 27 and I’m wondering if maybe I got tickets to last week’s game by accident.

13:05 – FUMBLE!!!!! Tim Hightower is stripped by Justin Tuck and recovered by Michael Johnson. The play was originally ruled down by contact, but when the replay was showed on the jumbotron it was clear that the ball was out before Hightower was down. What came next could only be described as 78,000 people yelling at Tom Coughlin to throw the challenge flag. I’ve never heard the crowd that adamant that a play should be challenged. Of course Tommy challenged it and of course it was reversed because his challenge record is impeccable. First down Giants at their own 27. I’ve changed my mind, not a bad start so far.

11:39 – Eli has come out with three straight passes to start the Giants first offensive possession, with completion to Manningham and Hixon. I can’t say I wholeheartedly agree with this, but the Cardinals are stacking 9 in the box right now and I don’t have much input on the Giants offensive gameplan anyway. Really? Nine in the box?

10:22 – Three and out. Apparently there’s a baseball game going on right now too. Judging from people around me, it’s a pretty important game. The stadium just erupted in a roar because Vladimir Guerrero got thrown out at first. Clearly, Giants fans are anxious for things to cheer about. (By the way, I’m well aware that it’s Game 6 of the ALCS, I’m just trying to go as long as I possibly can without fully acknowledging it.)

7:21 – Eli throws a deep ball over the middle and ends up trying to force it into a tight spot and, well, you can probably guess what happened. It originally looked as if Hixon came down with the pass in the end zone, but Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie won the jump ball and ripped it away from 87. Not exactly how I expected that play to end. What a tease, Eli. That was like dangling a steak in front of Artie Lange.

2nd Quarter

15:00 – I’ve sat through sociology lectures that were more exciting than that first quarter. After Eli’s interception, both teams traded punts (not even a good punt, in Feagles’ case) and now the Cardinals have the ball on their own 25 yard line. The good news is that not only is it 1-0 Angels in the 3rd inning right now, but also that we will be treated to the world’s best frisbee-catching dogs at halftime. I don’t even think that ‘ecstatic’ fully describes how I’m feeling.

14:06 – Well, our defense finally made a big play. Warner’s pass over the middle intended for Larry Fitzgerald was intercepted by Terrell Thomas. By the way, Thomas has been a ball-hawk all night so far. He has already broken up two passes and now has an interception. I feel like there are 11 of him on the field right now. That’s a good thing. Terrell Thomas is growing on me.

13:34 – Good news: Brandon Jacobs just rumbled his way down the sidelines for 25 yards to the Cardinals 4. First and goal. Bad news: The Yankees just took the lead in the bottom of the 4th. Trade-offs. I feel like I’m in Sophie’s Choice right now.

13:28 – TOUCHDOWN BRANDON JACOBS!!! Only the second touchdown of the season for the Jacobs, but it’s now 7-0 Giants and it’s enough to make me forget about the Yankees score for a second, as well as the fact that I’m losing my fantasy game to a guy that has Kurt Warner, Tim Hightower and Larry Fitzgerald on his team.

10:38 – Cardinals go three and out again. Then Eli is sacked and loses 11 yards on a 3rd and 2. Which raises the question, why are we throwing the football on a 3rd and 2? The run game has been almost non-existent tonight. I don’t know when the Cardinals bought a defense, but I certainly don’t remember them having one.

9:59 – A rare Shankopotamus just appeared. Jeff Feagles managed to boot a 28-yard gem which came off the side of his foot and wobbled out of bounds at the Arizona 44 yard line. Very uncharacteristic of Feagles.

8:18 – By the way, I just checked my fantasy team stats on my phone and found out that Vernon Davis and Miles Austin combined for 60 points today. Of course, none of that matters because both players were sitting next to each other on my make believe fantasy bench. I’m trying to remind myself why I love fantasy football so much.

7:36 - Yet another three and out for Arizona and then another three and out for the Giants. This game is getting a little out of hand. It’s going to be extremely difficult to transcribe this column with all of this constant action. And as I made that comment, Feagles punted 33 yards to our own 46 yard line. Unbelieveable. Two straight awful punts. I don’t think the Cardinals have started more than one drive from inside their own 35. It’s only a matter of time before the field position battle comes back to haunt us.

4:18 – ….And that time is up. Beanie Wells goes 13 yards off left tackle for the touchdown. The Yankees have a 3-1 lead on the Angels. I swear I didn’t just peek over the wall behind me to see how high of a jump it would be. Benefits of sitting in the last row of the stadium.

2:09 – Wow. Either the Giants just got really lucky, or they took the Broncos’ Orton-to-Stokley tipped pass and added it to the playbook. Manning’s deep pass over the middle intended for Manningham was tipped by Rodgers-Cromartie and then caught by Hakeem Nicks, perfectly in stride, who took it in for the touchdown. 14-7 Giants, 62-yard touchdown pass. Score one point for excitement.

Halftime – I missed the Cardinals final drive of the half which resulted in a 30 yard field goal, set up by a 44-yard pass from Warner to Anquan Boldin. I had to get a head-start on the line for the restroom. As it turns out, the lines were predictably long and I also missed the world’s greatest frisbee-catching dogs, which may or may not have been the second most exciting thing to happen in this game so far. 14-10 Giants at the half.

We will now fast-forward to the 13:11 mark of the 4th quarter, because the only notes I have written down about the 3rd quarter are, “ugh”, “not again”, “wow, that’s a lot of  boo’s” and “nice pass Eli”. Just to recap the third, the Cardinals scored on their first possession of the second half on a Hightower touchdown run after another Giants three and out. An Eli Manning pass that was picked off by Eugene Wilson later in the quarter led to a 6-yard touchdown pass from Warner to Jason Wright to make it 24-14 Cardinals. At this point, I was standing on my seat and hoping that they didn’t show anymore highlights from the Yankees game on the jumbotron.

4th Quarter

13:11 – Aside from the touchdown we scored off the fluke tipped pass play and the touchdown that was set up by Terrell Thomas’s interception, the offense hasn’t done much of anything tonight. Regardless, we are now set up on the Cardinals 44 yard line with a chance to cut into this lead.

9:50 – A 17 yard pass over the middle to Steve Smith and it’s first down at the Cardinals’ 11 yard line. The Giants can get a first down without scoring a touchdown, which is definitely an advantage for us and our poor red-zone offense. Although it’s still a two-score game and we need a touchdown and field goal, it’s always easier to get the touchdown first and then only need a field goal to tie.

9:05 – Third and three on the 4-yard line. I’m thinking that if they can’t pick up the first down here that they go for it on fourth down. With 9 minutes left, there’s still plenty of time left to make a stop with Arizona pinned on their own 1.

8:14 – Of course Jacobs only picks up 2 yards on a 3rd and 3 and of course Coughlin opts to kick the field goal instead of going for it on fourth down. Especially when Jacobs already converted a fourth down earlier on this drive. I guess we’ll settle for 24-17 and see if our defense can make some plays.

4:48 – Huge, huge stop for the defense. Kiwanuka comes up with the sack on a big 3rd and 3 play. Three timeouts to go, 83 yards for the touchdown. If the offense has any signs of life tonight, I think now would be the time for it to show its face. The Yankees are up 4-2 in the 8th and I’m starting to feel the first signs of OAS (Overtime Anxiety Syndrome). Amazing.

4:03 – Manning passes over the middle to Kevin Boss who makes an incredible catch for 25 yards to the Giants 42. What’s even more incredible was that he managed to hold onto the ball after he got his bell rung by Antrel Rolle. And even more amazing than that: I can actually feel NBC put up the graphic about the number of career comebacks in the 4th quarter or overtime that Eli Manning has. I hate close games.

3:52 – Well, Boss did a nice job of holding onto the ball after that catch, but guess who couldn’t hold onto the ball? Ahmad Bradshaw. After a nice 14 yard run to the Arizona 44, he loses the football and I haven’t seen the air sucked out of a stadium that quickly since the Vet was imploded. I would probably leave now if everyone else in the stadium didn’t have the same exact idea. Now I’m actually avoiding the traffic by staying.

2:52 – Can someone explain to me why the Cardinals just threw three straight passes? A 7 point lead with under 4 minutes to play and you don’t want to run the football and force the Giants to use up their timeouts? How does this make any sense at all? Actually, I’m not complaining. Improbably, we have one more chance now, at our own 9 yard line. This is it, this is what Eli does best.

2:45 – We’re going the wrong way…..

2:19 – HUGE PLAY! 3rd and 15 from our own 4, Eli completes a 34 yard pass to Steve Smith, and the hope is still alive! My eye is twitching at hyper speed right now, it’s like I have a metronome taped to my eyelid. I love overtime games.

1:20 – Pass to Manningham for 12 yards, Jacobs runs for 9 yards and then another 2 and it’s first down on the Cardinals 39. Timeout Giants. There’s that weird, uneasy, palpable buzz in the air right now that you can feel when a game starts coming down to the wire. It’s hard to describe, but it’s one of the reasons why I love football.

1:08 – A stomach punch. Talk about sucking the air completely out of the stadium, I’ve just seen it happen twice in a five-minute span. Unbelievable. Manning is picked off by Antrel Rolle on a pass intended for Steve Smith. What a somber scene right now, which is sure to be shattered in a few moments when everyone realizes that the Yankees just clinched the pennant. I can’t get out of this stadium fast enough right now.

The Giants beat themselves tonight, plain and simple. That’s what I’m going to convince myself after seeing that disappointing ending. Two opportunities to drive down the field and tie it in the final 5 minutes, two opportunities stopped dead in their tracks by two turnovers. Two awful, completely avoidable turnovers. I’m going to convince myself that we beat ourselves tonight if only because, for the second game in a row, we couldn’t get the job done against a quality team. This week it was the offense, not the defense, that left a lot to be desired. I thought we would come out and play with a little more intensity on our home turf for a Sunday night game, but that intensity was nowhere to be found. It was the costly turnovers that hurt us the most in the end, and at 5-2 now, we still have some room for improvement and luckily some room for error also, but it has to get better when we face the Eagles next week. And I believe that it will.





Week 7: Where Super Bowl Dreams Go To Die

23 10 2009

I was 7-7 again last week. And when I say that I barely salvaged a .500 record, I do mean barely. To say that I’ve hit a dry spell would be an understatement. Picking NFL games is like playing darts with your eyes closed, you just hope that it lands somewhere on the board and not lodged in the cornea of the person standing next to you. Last week, I would have blinded everyone at the bar.

Week 7 picks, home teams in all CAPS.

San Diego (-5) over KANSAS CITY

I warned you about the Chargers last week. Maybe in a normal, pre-Kyle Orton world the Chargers could get by with a 2-3 record after 6 weeks and not have to sweat about running down the division title with a late-season surge, but this is a new world now. It’s a world where Kyle Orton is the starting quarterback of a 6-0 team and a world where Josh McDaniels is looking like the smartest coach in the league. It’s also a world where Norv Turner still exists and as long as he’s pacing the sidelines with a play sheet and a headset on, we’re going to have to keep hearing stories about how underrated Phillip Rivers is and how the Chargers are underachievers.

Indianapolis (-13.5) over ST. LOUIS

It’s been exactly one year and four days since the Rams last won a regular season game. Since then we’ve elected a new President to office, Kurt Warner took the Cardinals to the Super Bowl, the stock market tanked, Michael Jackson died and we bombed the moon. The bad news? The Colts will most likely add another week to their suffering. Right now the state of Missouri is about as useful to the NFL as Canada.

Chicago (+1) over CINCINNATI

The Bengals tricked me into picking them last week. Their strangely soothing tiger-striped helmets lured me into picking them when I knew that Houston would rip them apart. I’ll go with the Bears this week so that the Bengals can spite me again. Also, I’m glad that I had Matt Forte on my fantasy team last year, before NFL defenses had a chance to figure him out.

Green Bay (-8.5) over CLEVELAND

I thought it was clever how the Browns used an outbreak of the swine flu to disguise the fact that they’ve really just quit on Mangini and don’t even want to show up for practice anymore. I think that in addition to catching on as an epidemic, the swine flu will also catch on as a convenient excuse to say “I’d rather not show up on Sunday and embarrass myself in front of 70,000 fans with paper bags over their heads”.

Minnesota (+5.5) over PITTSBURGH

Brett Favre, also better known as “ESPN”s Wet Dream” looks a lot different than he did last season. I would know, after all I watched him week in and week out with the Jets, cashing in his leftover supply of Brett Favre Dumb Luck cards in between heaving interceptions and forcing balls into triple coverage. I don’t see the same Brett this season as I saw last year with New York. He’s only thrown two picks so far over 6 games and looks a hell of a lot more confident in the Vikings offense. I wouldn’t bet against him at this point because he honestly looks like Liam Neeson in Taken right now. Like he has a score to settle and he’s going to demolish everything in his path. Or else I’m most likely wrong and the Vikings will end up 9-7. Beats me.

New England (-15) over Tampa Bay (London)

I know that the NFL didn’t know just how bad the Bucs would be this season when they scheduled this game, but they should at least send a letter of apology to the entire country of Great Britain for dumping this huge pile of garbage on Wembley Stadium. After this game Goodell will probably get an email from the British prime minister saying “Sorry, we’re all booked for next year, so thanks anyway. You can keep your football over there for now, I’ll give you a call if anything opens up in the next 20 years. I’m going to go watch the Manchester United game now and down a bottle of Scotch. P.S. Thanks for ruining The Office.

San Francisco (+3) over HOUSTON

Since this league is completely unpredictable, I’m going to stick with the only thing I know, which is that the Texans will usually always follow up a good game with an equally bad one. So here’s to you, Houston, for providing some sense of stability in this world of chaos.

NY Jets (-6) over OAKLAND

Richard Seymour: “You can mark it down, the Raiders will be in the playoffs in 2009.” Ummmm……you know, if he didn’t specifically mention the Raiders I would be convinced that he wasn’t even aware that he was traded. But he did, and now I’m mad at myself for actually weighing the possibility of Oakland making the playoffs.

Buffalo (+7) over CAROLINA

CAROLINA (-7) over Buffalo

I changed my pick when I realized that Ryan Fitzpatrick, from the football powerhouse of Harvard University, will likely be making the start. A more interesting side-story surrounding the Bills this season is the disappearing act of Terrell Owens. I had a feeling that this Buffalo stint wasn’t going to work out for him, but I didn’t realize how much he would be phased out. It’s not that the Bills don’t want to get him the ball, it’s that they just can’t. I’ll give it three weeks before he starts doing interviews in the third person, changes his number to 00 and stops running routes.

New Orleans (-6.5) over MIAMI

I know the Saints fans are excited about what they saw against the Giants last week, but I’ve been directed by my agent and publicist not to make any more comments about that game, so all I’ll say is this: no comment.

Atlanta (+4) over DALLAS

The Cowboys have a lot to prove this week, but so do half the teams in this league. I hate when guys on ESPN or some other NFL show say that about a team because they have nothing else good to say about them. “They have a lot to prove.” Having something to prove doesn’t make you special or unique. It certainly doesn’t make you good. It’s all about execution and whether or not Tony Romo will look like a deer in the headlights in the fourth quarter.

NY GIANTS (-7) over Arizona

I would say 7 points is a bit much until you take into consideration that this is a Sunday night game, at home and the Cardinals don’t do east coast games very well. I want to say that last week’s game was this season’s version of the Cleveland game from last year for the Giants and that they will rebound this week. Plus, THEY HAVE A LOT TO PROVE.

Philadelphia (-7) over WASHINGTON

I’ll give the Eagles one more shot this week, on the road in Washington, even though I’m aware that the Eagles are about 0-53 in Monday night games against the Redskins. But back to back losses to the Raiders and Redskins will bring about something that every Philly fan knew would come but is secretly fearing deep down: chants for Michael Vick at the next home game. You know it will happen if they lose on Monday night. YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF PHILADELPHIA, YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

Last Week: 7-7

Season Total: 54-36









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