Brace Yourselves, Giants Fans

31 10 2011

In the eight years that Tom Coughlin has been the head coach of the New York Giants since he arrived in 2004 along with Eli Manning, Giants fans have become pretty accustomed to the team’s quick starts. Of the eight seasons he has been at the helm, the Giants have started 5-2 in seven of them. The one season they didn’t start 5-2? It was 2008, and they started 6-1 instead.

But just as Giants fans have gotten used to fast starts in the Tom Coughlin Era, we have also grown just as accustomed to second-half collapses. In 2004, Coughlin’s first year on the job, the Giants jumped out to a 5-2 start behind veteran quarterback Kurt Warner. Midway through that season, Warner was replaced by Eli Manning (then just a rookie) and the Giants went 1-8 in their remaining nine games to finish 6-10. This collapse was excusable, mostly because we had just handed the keys to the offense over to our freshly minted rookie quarterback and growing pains were expected.

In 2005, a 5-2 record became an 11-5 finish and a first-round playoff game at home. The second half collapse was avoided. Then, in 2006, it returned again. This time, a 5-2 start was followed by a 3-6 second half and the Giants barely squeaked into the playoffs at 8-8.

A Super Bowl title in 2007 erased the memories of past late-season collapses, at least temporarily. The following season, an 11-1 start was negated when Plaxico Burress decided to tuck a gun into the waistband of his sweatpants in a NYC club. The Giants finished that season by losing four of their last five games, including an embarrassing home playoff loss to Philadelphia.

In 2009, the second half struggles continued. Another 5-2 start was tarnished by yet another 3-6 record in the remaining nine games, including two straight losses to end the season, in which the Giants were outscored 85-16. Last season, the Giants’ second half problems were less pronounced. They are typically attributed to the fourth quarter of the gut-wrenching Dec. 19th loss to Philadelphia, a game that served as a sort of poetic microcosm for all of the Giants’ late-season collapses of the past. Nevertheless, a 6-2 start gave way to a mostly mediocre 4-4 in the second half of the 2010 season and the Giants missed out on the postseason for the second straight year.

And that brings us to the present. On October 31st, the New York Giants sit at 5-2 for the third consecutive year and currently hold a two-game lead in the NFC East over the Cowboys, Eagles and Redskins, who are all 3-4. If there was ever a time for the Giants to perpetuate their habit of folding in the second half of the season, it’s now. Big Blue faces arguably one of the most arduous nine-game stretches in recent memory and are fresh off of a less-than-inspiring 20-17 win over the 0-7 Miami Dolphins at home.

The last nine games of this season will tell you everything you need to know about the 2011 New York Giants, and it will likely tell you everything you need to know about the Tom Coughlin Era, which will either live or die with this stretch of games. Beginning next week in New England, the Giants will face five 2010 playoff teams (New England, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Green Bay, NY Jets) and will also have to deal with four crucial divisional games thrown in for good measure. Although Dallas and Washington may not scare too many teams right now (especially after Dallas’ performance in Philly last night), divisional games are always tough and the Giants have already lost to Washington once this season.

The Giants can easily fold up once again, like they’ve done before, and blame their shortcomings on the brutal schedule and bad luck. But they also have the opportunity to exorcise their second-half demons and rise to the occasion. They can choose to thrive on the adversity and Eli can continue his stellar play and the scary-when-healthy defensive foursome of Tuck, Osi, Pierre-Paul and Kiwanuka can terrorize the likes of Brady, Rodgers and Brees. The fact is, anything is in play right now, and with most of Giants nation expecting another late-season swoon, this is finally Big Blue’s chance to rise above the expectations and surprise us all.

For better or for worse though, at the end of this season, we will know what kind of team these Giants are — whether or not we’re ready for it.





NFL Thoughts: Just the Usual Insanity

3 10 2011

???

I don’t have a clue what to make of this young NFL season. We’re four weeks in and, as usual, I’m stumped. But that’s how you know it’s good. When you wake up on a Monday morning a little confused and a little excited and also a little scared, that means that the National Football League is doing its damn job.

At the conclusion of Week 4 (save for tonight’s Indy-Tampa Bay game that I don’t think more than 6 people are actually going to watch), there are a handful of surprises and not-surprises. Since paragraphs are for the weak, I’m going to give you a run-down of my scattered and sometimes incomplete thoughts in bullet form because it’s 2011 and the American public has an extremely short attention span.

*The Detroit Lions are 4-0 and everybody claims to have seen this coming. I’m sorry, I don’t know where I was when the Lions bandwagon filled to capacity and pulled out of the station, but I wasn’t notified. For some reason, nobody seems to really be shocked that the Lions are 4-0 and that Calvin Johnson is grabbing touchdowns out of the air left and right with ease like he just crashed an 8-year-old’s birthday party. I mean, the man is on pace for 32 TOUCHDOWN CATCHES for God’s sake. I know that everybody is talking about them and that they’re the Cinderella team du jour, but everybody is talking about them like they knew this was coming. Listen, I’m not oblivious, I know the Lions have a very talented team, but I thought that at the end of the day, they’re still the Lions. They straight-up embarrassed the Dallas Cowboys yesterday. Embarrassed them.

*Calvin Johnson. Again. He’s making NFL defenses look so stupid right now. I mean, how many teams can say that on a first-and-goal at the 2, they can just have their QB chuck a jump ball up into the back of the end zone and have a guaranteed touchdown 9 out of 10 times? Come on.

*Dallas Cowboys blowing late-game leads like it’s their job/Dream Team looking nightmarish. Tony Romo threw away a 24-10 4th quarter lead against the Jets in Week 1 and then threw away a 27-3 lead to the Lions yesterday. And when I saw “threw away” I literally mean that he threw the ball directly into the hands of the opposing team, multiple times. I mean that he literally threw two consecutive Pick 6′s yesterday. The Cowboys’ meltdown yesterday was matched only by the slow-motion train wreck that is the Philadelphia “Dream Team” Eagles. Not only did they blow a 23-3 lead to the San Francisco 32nds (that’s their NFL ranking for total offense) but they also managed to put a hex on the Philadelphia Phillies who went ahead and blew a 4-run lead of their own in Game 2 of the NLDS last night. Impressive! The Eagles are now 1-3, meaning that they now have a 14% chance of making the playoffs, according to the last 21 years of NFL history. Chalk this one up under the “Not Surprised” category though, thanks to the man standing on their sidelines wearing the headset and parachute pants.

*Rules don’t apply to Victor Cruz because Victor Cruz makes the rules. Couldn’t have been more baffled by the Victor Cruz non-fumble call last night, but also couldn’t have been more ecstatic about it either. Once you actually read the rule that the officials were referring to, it makes a little more sense, but I still couldn’t help but get flashbacks of Eli diving crumpling to the ground untouched against the Eagles last year and losing the ball. Anyway, we’re 3-1 and how do you like that Jets fans?

*Oh by the way, Eli Manning is only quietly having one of the best 4-week stretches of his career. No big deal. Remember when the season started and everyone was all like “I know he threw for 4,000 yards and 31 touchdowns last year and has a Super Bowl MVP to his name, but he totally sucks the big one!” Then the Giants stunk up the joint in Week 1 and everybody was all like “I told you!” And then what does Easy do? Just rolls off three straight wins, with two of them being come-from-behind wins on the road where the Giants trailed in the 4th quarter. No biggie. He only completes 32-of-40 passes for 415 yards, 4 TDs and no INTs in the second half of the last three games. Ho hum. Only third in the NFL in QB rating behind those other bums Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady. You go do your thing, Easy. Let the haters hate.

*A little confused about the Cam Newton pants-wetting ceremony. For the fourth straight week, Cam Newton has every NFL analyst in America wearing diapers, and that’s completely justifiable because after all he’s led the Panthers to a shocking….1-3 record? But he throws for so many yards though! I don’t get it.

*The New York Jets are what we thought they were. Completely overrated and offensively inept. Mark Sanchez just keeps flinging the ball around like it’s covered in spiders and he’s afraid to hold it, and Jets fans are alright with blaming it all on the fact that Nick Mangold is out of the lineup because he’s the reason that two of their top three wide receivers are a combined 117 years old.

*Meanwhile, the Vikings can’t beat anybody, not even a team that can’t beat anybody. Going into this one, I was completely convinced that the Kansas City Chiefs were far and away the worst team in the National Football League. Now, I’m completely convinced that the title has to go to the Vikings. Just horrendous football. I can’t believe I actually wrote this column about Donovan McNabb a few years ago. I can’t even defend the guy anymore. Hang it up Donovan, please.

*Wes Welker is living the dream. Do you realize the kinds of numbers that Wes Welker is putting up right now? A 5’9″ white guy hasn’t cleaned up like this since Scott Baio and Tony Danza dominated the primetime sitcom game. 40 receptions and 616 yards and it’s only Week 4. This guy is on pace to rack up 160 catches, almost 2,500 yards receiving and 20 touchdowns. Unheard of. He probably won’t end up with numbers that outrageous, but if he does they should not only give him the MVP, they should rename it The Wes.

*Chris Johnson. It’s nice of you to stop impersonating an old wooden bench and resume your job as an NFL running back, but let’s try to maybe get into the end zone next week. How about it?

Overrated list: Atlanta Falcons, Oakland Raiders, Buffalo Bills, Washington Redskins (I know, they shouldn’t count), New York Jets, Dallas Cowboys

Uh Oh List: Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers

Underrated List: Houston Texans, Tennessee Titans

Jury is still out on these teams: Baltimore Ravens, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, New York Giants, Chicago Bears

They are as good as we thought: Green Bay Packers

Nauseatingly bad: Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, Kansas City Chiefs, Jacksonville Jaguars, St. Louis Rams

 

 





Bored To Tears

13 09 2011

It’s okay, you can stop caring about the 2011 New York Giants season if you want. I won’t blame you. I mean, did you watch the game on Sunday? Did you see how effortlessly Rex Grossman — yes, you read that right, Rex Grossman — handled the Giants defense? Did you see the offense convert only one of its 10 third downs? I did.

Embarrassing. That’s what Chris Canty called it. He’s right though, it was embarrassing. Watching the Giants offense operate for much of the second half was painful. There is really no other way to describe it. I’m not sure what time warp Giants offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride is stuck in, but the offensive game plan that the Giants have been rolling out for the past few seasons is tired and simply unimaginative. There is nothing in the current offensive game plan that even attempts to utilize the few weapons that the Giants have on offense, and it creates an offense that seems like it’s stuck in the stone age.

Giants fans are left to wonder why, during the preseason, we can watch an endless number of drawn-up screen passes to speedy backs like Da’Rel Scott, D.J. Ware and Ahmad Bradshaw go for big gains, only to see them completely disappear once the regular season begins.

No, instead we get the same boring, and mostly unsuccessful, hand-offs to Bradshaw and Jacobs that see them both run directly into the line for gains of 3 and 4 yards.

With an offensive line that lacks continuity, missing two longstanding anchors from years past, O’Hara and Seubert, there was a lot of pressure on Eli throughout much of Sunday’s game. With not as much time to make decisions downfield, there were countless opportunities for him to check off underneath to a back like Scott or Ware.

What happened instead? Most of the time, Eli whipped a frantic pass towards the sidelines that fell six yards in front of Nicks or Manningham, or just took a sack.

Just to be fair, I’m not lumping all of the blame on Gilbride though. I’m passing it around to Manning and to the offensive line and to the special teams, which continues to haunt us in the most inopportune times possible.

This is a team-wide problem, and there has to be a little more urgency to solve it. The magical season of 2007 is beginning to grow smaller and smaller in our rear view mirror and this team is going to have to start showing some kind of life beyond the lethargic play-calling that now dominates every single game.

Third-and-shorts aren’t being converted on offense, while opposing wide receivers are seemingly left wide open on third and long situations. In one specific instance on Sunday, the secondary gave Santana Moss a six-yard cushion — on a 4th and 5.

Mistakes like that need to disappear, and disappear quickly. What instead needs to happen are more plays like that exciting 68-yard completion to Hakeem Nicks that led to the Giants first score. The Giants need to open up their offense a little bit more and stop being so conservative and so stuck in this offensive rut where it takes forever to get the team out of the huddle and the play clock grinds down to 1 on every single play before Eli takes the snap.

They need to execute more drives like the one we saw in the second quarter that featured a healthy mix of run and pass and in which Manning marched us down the field to take a 14-7 lead. Those offensive bright spots are now too few and far between.

What we’re left with is a stagnant offense with no imagination, and that is not exciting football. Perhaps more importantly, that’s not winning football.





The Nightmare Before Christmas

20 12 2010

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - DECEMBER 19: DeSean Jackson  of the Philadelphia Eagles runs in the game winning touchdown on a punt return against the New York Giants at New Meadowlands Stadium on December 19, 2010 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

The reality of it all started to come crashing down sometime after DeSean Jackson dropped the line-drive punt that fluttered off the foot of Matt Dodge, and a few seconds before he cut sharply to his left and streaked straight across a suddenly wide-open middle of the field. The feeling of “Oh s— this isn’t really happening, is it?” collided with the sudden realization that “Oh s— this really IS happening right now” and before the 85,000 bewildered Giants fans even had a chance to fully process what naturally occurs when these two things collide with one another, DeSean Jackson was crossing the goal line with the ball held high in his right hand and the game clock showed 00:00.

Then it was quiet. Empty plastic bottles of Coors Light whizzed by, zipping through the air like bullets, tiny droplets of beer being flung in every direction. There was a pile of Eagles in the corner of the end zone so big you would have thought they just won the World Series. Photographers ran on the field, apparently unaware that an extra point still had to be kicked, players pushed and shoved one another, Tom Coughlin chewed out a dumbfounded Matt Dodge who looked like….well, exactly how someone should look in that situation. And there I was. All around me there was confusion. Not the kind of confusion where nobody knows what’s going on. No, everybody knew exactly what had just happened. It was the kind of confusion where nobody knew how something like that could have happened. The kind of confusion where the look on our faces told the whole story all at once: “Did I really see what I think I just saw?” The answer was clear, and it was sobering.

Eagles 38, Giants 31. There I was, standing in a building with 85,000 other people who had no clue how to react to what they just saw. So I looked around me for something to throw. Then after deciding against hurling projectiles, I went ahead and threw the only thing I had on me: words. Very, very bad words, and a lot of them. I yelled obscenities that would make a sailor blush. I yelled until spit flew from my almost-numb lips, pointing my finger at the field as if anyone down there could hear me. I didn’t care though.

Eagles 38, Giants 31. Anyone who left the game early, right after Eli Manning’s 4th touchdown pass of the afternoon found Kevin Boss in the back of the end zone, might not understand how that score ended up the way it did. Even I don’t fully understand, and I was sitting there watching the whole thing unfold. After all, it was Giants 31, Eagles 10 with no more than 8 minutes left in the game, right? The game was all but over, the fat lady was warming up her voice, everyone in the stands were dancing to Kris Kross’s “Jump” and my brother was slumped so far down in his seat that I thought he was trying to hide in his own jacket. We had this game wrapped up. First place in the NFC East, maybe a #2 seed in the NFC if we could win out, we were going to steam roll our way into the playoffs and it was all going to start with the beating we gave Michael Vick yesterday. We shut him down. We intercepted him, we sacked him, we hit him, we beat the Eagles’ morale into submission. It was over. Giants 31, Eagles 10.

Then it was Vick to Celek. A freak play that should have never happened like it did. Justin Tuck was 40 yards deep in coverage for some reason and Kenny Phillips dove at the ball and missed when he should have been trying to tackle Celek and suddenly it was 31-17. It was alright though, there were only 7 minutes left, all we had to do was run the ball, run the clock, pick up a few first downs and we were good.

Then the onside kick. Apparently no one on the Giants coaching staff had ever heard of such a thing. “Onside kick, what’s that?” Oops. The Eagles had the ball again, and now I’m starting to wonder. This is when the fear begins to creep in. Exactly two minutes later, with the clock reading 5:28 and the scoreboard reading Giants 31, Eagles 17, Vick scampers through a gaping hole off left tackle and into the end zone. Way too easy. Giants 31, Eagles 24. Uh oh.

Now there’s no more dancing in the stands. There’s no more “EA-GLES SUCK!” chants, no more of anything. Now there’s just that sinking feeling. Now there’s just a lot of people turning to the person next to them and not having to say a word because they both know exactly what the other is thinking. And even though we both knew, I said it anyway. I turned to the guy next to me, wearing a Giants construction helmet and Giants earmuffs and I said, “Oh s—, they’re gonna lose this game, aren’t they?”

But we still had the ball. We needed to run some clock. Actually, we needed to score again. So it’s Manning to Manningham for 12. First down. Then it’s Bradshaw for 7. Bradshaw for 2. Bradshaw for 2. Another first down. Bradshaw for 4. Now we’re at the Eagles 38-yard line. The Eagles have called all of their timeouts. None left. There is 3:56 to go. Ten more yards and we’re at least in field goal range. Ten more yards and we can push our lead back to two scores. Ten more yards and we can breathe easy again. Then a penalty. False start. We march back to the 43-yard line. On 2nd and 11, Bradshaw goes for 3. Third down. Now we’re passing. The Eagles know we’re passing, but who cares, they haven’t stopped it all day. Manning to Hagan: incomplete. And we punt.

Three minutes to go. The Eagles have the ball on their own 12. They need to go 88 yards. That’s a long way, at least that’s what everyone in the building is telling themselves. Plus, they have no timeouts. All we need is for our defense to make one play. One big play, that’s it. They’ve been doing it all day, so it shouldn’t be a problem. We’ve batted down four passes at the line, we’ve sacked Vick three times, we can do it again.

One minute and forty-five seconds. That’s all it takes for Vick to lead the Eagles up the field and into the end zone. Runs of 33 yards and 22 yards by Vick make it look like the defense is moving in slow motion and he has switched it into a higher gear. That’s how easy it looks. The touchdown pass to Jeremy Maclin looks even easier. Giants 31, Eagles 31.

Here’s the good news, Giants fans: we have the ball again. 1:16 to go, and the game is in Eli’s hands. We only need about 30 yards to be in a comfortable range for Lawrence Tynes. How many times have we seen Eli come through for us in this situation? A lot. That’s what I tell myself. At the very least, we can run out the clock and play for overtime where we can hit the reset button and start over. But it didn’t happen that way. Instead, it went like this: incomplete, incomplete, sack. Then a punt. The punt.

It all happened so fast. It all looked so easy. In fact, it was just so perfect that it seemed fixed. I half-expected the Undertaker to roll out of the tunnel behind the end zone on a motorcycle and smack Matt Dodge with a steel chair as he tried to make a game-saving tackle on DeSean Jackson. At least then it would have made some sense. But alas, we Giants fans are left behind in the debris of this latest disaster, still trying to make sense of it all. Trying to understand how, or why. Don’t expect any answers. Don’t expect me to try and glean any positives from this either; there simply aren’t any.





The Eagles Are Coming! The Eagles Are Coming!

14 12 2010

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed last night’s 21-3 thumping of the Minnesota Vikings as much as the next Giants fan. I enjoyed the 200+ yards we gained on the ground against a typically stingy Vikings run defense and I enjoyed seeing Steve Smith, Hakeem Nicks and David Diehl back on the field and making plays again. However, there was one thing that kept me distracted throughout — one thing that kept me looking over my shoulder like I was a kid sneaking a Snickers bar past curfew at fat camp — the Philadelphia Eagles are coming to town on Sunday.

I’m worried about the Eagles not because they are 9-4, not because of I’m afraid of Michael Vick, but because they’ve beaten us the last 5 times we’ve faced each other dating back to the 2008 season. It was November 9, 2008 to be exact. Going into Sunday’s battle for NFC East supremacy at the Stadium With No Name, it will be 2 years, 1 month and 10 days since the last time we have beaten the Philadelphia Eagles. Are we due for a victory over our turnpike rivals? Maybe. But maybe they will come into our building for the second straight December and shove us out of the way as they reach for the division title, kind of like Tony Siragusa shoving his way through a buffet line.

I will be there on Sunday afternoon for what will be (for all intents and purposes) the biggest game of the season thus far in the NFC, at least until the Falcons host the Saints in Week 16 for a game that might decide the NFC South division title as well as the NFC’s number one seed. I will be there with my hopes high and my seats even higher, trying to will the Giants to 10-4 and a legitimate shot at locking up the NFC East and a first-round bye.

Before that happens though, there are things that need to be addressed. First and foremost, can Eli Manning play an entire game without throwing a pass that makes me want to fling all of my personal belongings off the upper deck? Can he stop trying to be his brother for one game and shed this stupid interception bug that’s been plaguing him all year? Can we try maybe sticking with Jacobs and Bradshaw to start the game, hoping that running the football can open up the passing lanes and take some pressure off of Eli so he’s not trying to force passes into tight coverage and turning the ball over? Can we try to get constant pressure on Vick and prevent him from extending plays with his legs? These are all things that we need to do successfully on Sunday in order to win the game. It might be asking for a lot, but I think they’ll be able to manage.

At 9-4, we control our own destiny right now. A win over the Eagles on Sunday gives us sole possession of first place in the NFC East going into a Christmas weekend game at Lambeau against a slightly struggling Packers team with a quarterback that may or may not know what day it is. If we manage to win out and beat Green Bay and then Washington in the finale, we could be in very good shape. One thing is for sure though, and that is the fact that there will be a 10-6 team that misses the playoffs in the NFC. We need to win at least two of our last three games. Even then, 11-5 might only be good enough for a wild card spot if we lose to Philadelphia. That means that Sunday’s game is enormous — but it’s not like you didn’t know that already.

On Sunday morning at 9 a.m. sharp, I’ll be in the car on my way to the Stadium With No Name wearing my lucky Eli Manning jersey, my lucky Sunday Giants t-shirt, my lucky white Giants sweatshirt that I wore to the Wild Card playoff game in Tampa and ignoring whatever curveballs the weather tries to throw at us, to be as loud as possible and hope that the Giants can play well enough to prevent my Eagles fan brother from standing on his seat and goading Giants fans into chanting words that end with “hole” like he did last December. Basically, I will be doing my part to help the Giants win. Now, all that’s left is for the Giants to do their part.





WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?

22 11 2010

With the (huge) exception of our 2007 Super Bowl title run (and trust me, I don’t want to take anything away from that miraculous season), the New York Football Giants have been notorious for flushing the second half of their season down the toilet, at least in the Tom Coughlin Era. I don’t have a clue as to why this seems to happen every year, but it does and it’s about as frustrating as successfully potty-training your child only to have him poop his pants in the garden section of Home Depot the next day.

I don’t know exactly what it is about Coughlin’s teams that make them poop their pants in Home Depot in the second half of every season (you know, except for 2007), but I don’t want to go on a rant without first giving you some raw numbers to support my wild-eyed theories. So here they are:

In 2004, Coughlin’s first season with the Giants, we started off the season 5-2 before we went into the tank in dramatic fashion, dropping 8 of our last 9 games to finish 6-10. That is a pretty rough second half of the season, by any standards.

In 2005, we began the season 6-2, and then had a slightly less successful second half, going 5-3. I actually wouldn’t even include 2005 in this argument if we hadn’t hosted a playoff game in round one against the Carolina Panthers after finishing 11-5 and gotten shut-out 23-0. A one-game playoff collapse, but a late-season choke nonetheless.

In 2006, we once again began the season 6-2, getting off to yet another red-hot start. And once again, we would sputter out down the stretch, finishing a dismal 2-6 in our last 8 games and actually losing 6 of 7 before winning in the final week at Washington to squeak into the postseason at 8-8. What happened in the playoffs? Another first round exit, this time at the hands of the Eagles. So much for the hot start.

We’ll skip 2007 and go to 2008. After one of the best starts in franchise history, we found ourselves at 11-1 going into Week 14. We then lost back-to-back games to the Eagles and Cowboys in which we couldn’t manage more than 250 yards total offense in either one, before finally clinching the #1 seed in Week 16 against Carolina. We ended up going 1-3 in the last four games and — once again — leaving the playoffs after only one game, thanks to the Eagles and one of the most abysmal playoff performances I have ever seen from a 12-4 team playing at home.

What about last year? Well, you should remember last year, unless you willingly chose to repress those memories deep within your subconscious to stop the pain, which is completely understandable. Last year, we began 5-0, as per the usual in the Tom Coughlin Era. And as per the usual, we lost 8 of our last 11 games, finishing 8-8 and missing the playoffs for the first time since 2004.

What is going to happen this year? Honestly, I don’t have a clue. This season so far, through the first 10 games, the Giants have looked like the most schizophrenic team in football. We opened the season 1-2, with three of the sloppiest performances I’ve seen from a Giants team in years. Eli had almost 90 interceptions off of tipped passes and our defense looked suspect at best. Then starting with a dominating performance on Sunday night in Week 4 against Chicago (a team that might be just as schizophrenic as us), we rolled off 5 straight wins and looked like we might just be the best team in the NFL, at 6-2. Then the last two weeks happened. All of a sudden our invincible and impenetrable defense looked….well, very vincible and very penetrable.

We let Jon Kitna through the ball all over the field on us, and last night we allowed LeSean McCoy to turn a nearly-broken play on 4th and 1 into a 50 yard touchdown run. That play, unquestionably the back-breaking turning point of the game, put the Eagles back on top 24-17 and buried the Giants. That play marked the second time in as many weeks that the Giants defense surrendered a touchdown run of more than 50 yards, after not allowing one all season.

I’m not going to blame last night’s loss on the defense though. Actually, the defense was what allowed us to stay in the game as long as we did, forcing the Eagles to kick 3 field goals on three red zone trips and limiting the damage as much as they could. Instead of trailing 28-3 late in the 3rd quarter, it was a much more manageable 16-3 deficit, which allowed us to crawl back into the game and eventually take the lead in the 4th.

So the defense was not to blame. They did their job, containing Michael Vick for most of the night, something that no defense has been able to do successfully all season, and even forcing him to commit his first turnover of the year, a fumble caused by a very timely Justin Tuck strip in the 4th quarter that ultimately led to the Giants’ go-ahead touchdown.

My major gripe about last night’s game should come as no surprise to anyone watching the Giants all season: turnovers. TURNOVERS, TURNOVERS, TURNOVERS, TURNOVERS, and MORE TURNOVERS. If you think I’ve had enough ranting for one day, just wait until I get started with the turnovers (just to give you a heads-up, I’m starting right now).

The turnover bug has got to stop. I have never, EVER seen a team turn the ball over more times than this 2010 Giants team. It’s almost gotten to the point of hilarity where you can almost predict when and how they are going to turn the ball over. Actually, I did it twice last night, I kid you not. I correctly predicted Ahmad Bradshaw’s first fumble (his 13,456th of the season) and I predicted Eli’s interception on the Giants final possession of the game, which Asante Samuel then proceeded to give back to us by fumbling on the return. What’s even funnier, is that only three plays later, Eli would turn the ball over again, fumbling because no one told him that quarterbacks are supposed to slide feet-first and not dive face-first into the grass like they’re being shot at. The funny thing is, he did the exact same thing in a game against the Eagles last year, and fumbled it. Come on Eli, you’re telling me you’re not smart enough to learn from your own mistakes?

The turnovers are getting really, really, REALLY ridiculous and the worst part about them is that they always seem to come at the absolute worst possible moments. Moments where I have found myself literally begging out loud for them not to turn the ball over, only to see them do just that on the next play. It’s uncanny, it’s painful to watch, and it needs to stop. I don’t care if they need to put glue on Ahmad Bradshaw’s hands or bring Joe Girardi in to teach Eli how to slide like he did for (choking back vomit) Mark Sanchez.

Nobody in the NFL is going to win games with a -4 turnover ratio and nobody is going to win games turning the ball over twice inside their own 30-yard line. That is why last night we were on the short end of a 27-17 score and not the other way around.

The good news? Believe it or not, there is something: In 2007, we were 7-4 after Week 12 and went on to win the Super Bowl, so we’re not dead yet. Unfortunately that’s the only good news I can think of right now. We host the Jacksonville Jaguars next week and the Redskins the week after that, two very winnable games, as long as we don’t turn the ball over 70 times. 8-4 is where we are going to need to be heading into Minnesota for Week 14. Let’s hope, for Tom Coughlin’s sake, and for the sake of my health, that we can get there.

*Editor’s Note: Tomorrow afternoon I’m going to be interviewing offensive lineman David Diehl, so if you have any questions you want me to ask him, feel free to leave them in the comment box below, or drop me an email at robertmoreschi@gmail.com





“Jet Blue” Offense Takes Off in Big D

26 10 2010
New York Giants Hakeem Nicks runs up the sidelines against the Dallas Cowboys during the first half in Cowboys Stadium October 25, 2010 in Arlington, Texas.  UPI/Ian Halperin Photo via Newscom

This is shaping up to be one of the wackiest NFL seasons I have ever seen. Don’t believe me? Check out the standings through Week 7. As of today, the Tennessee Titans (5-2), the Kansas City Chiefs (4-2), the Chicago Bears (4-3) and the Seattle Seahawks (4-2) are in first place in their respective divisions. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-2) are a half-game behind Atlanta in the NFC South. The combined record of all of these teams in 2009: 27-53.

Still don’t believe me? Okay, well consider the fact that even though we are almost at the halfway point of this NFL season, we really don’t have a single team that would be considered a clear-cut favorite in the NFC. Nobody. If I had a gun to my head and I was forced to pick two teams, if I absolutely HAD to, I would probably have to go with the Giants and the Falcons – but I’m still reluctant to say that. The combined 2009 record of both of these teams: 15-17.

To expound on that, let’s look at the current state of last year’s final four teams in the NFC – the Cowboys, Vikings, Saints and Cardinals. As of today, the combined record of those four teams is…10-15 (note that Dallas and Minnesota are responsible for skewing this stat with 9 of those 15 losses – the Saints and Cards are still .500 or better, but for the purposes of making my point, I had to lump them all together).

Basically, what I’m trying to say is really something that we already knew – in the National Football League, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. That is why it is so hard to predict what is going to happen in this league from one week to the next, much less predict what is going to happen an entire season in advance. Just look at the Cowboys. Anybody with a functioning brain pegged the Cowboys as one of the clear favorites to represent the NFC  in the Super Bowl this year and today, on October 26th, they are 1-5 and looking at 6-8 weeks of Jon Kitna as their starting quarterback. In other words, they’d be lucky to escape this season with more than 4 wins. The Saints just got throttled at home by the Cleveland Browns. Heck, the Oakland Raiders put up 59 points in one game. That is roughly 30% of the total amount of points they scored all of last season. In 16 games. That’s right, I did the math.

Last night’s Giants game was like a microcosm of this strange and unpredictable NFL season. For example, last night I almost shut off the TV 3 times in the first quarter! That was only one time shy of this season’s record of 4 times that I almost shut of the TV in the first quarter during the Week 2 game at Indianapolis. Only thing is, we won last night! And not only did we win but we scored 41 points. Yeah crazy, I know.

I honestly can’t remember the last game I watched where a team turned the ball over 5 times in one game (a -3 turnover margin) and managed to win that same game. With 41 points. I can’t remember the last game I watched where a team fell behind 20-7 in the 2nd quarter on the road, turned the ball over 3 times, had absolutely zero momentum, and then 8 minutes later carry a 24-20 lead into the locker room at halftime.

I have never been on an emotional roller coaster ride through only one half of football like the one I experience last night. I went from being optimistic to convinced the game was a rehash of Week 2 against Indy (at 10-0), back to being optimistic again (at 10-7), then even more optimistic (Romo’s injury), then on the verge of throwing the remote through the TV screen (at 20-7), and back to optimistic again at halftime. All of that happened in the course of 30 minutes of football. That is six very drastic changes in emotion in a 2 hour span.

And then, when we began the second half, as Ron Burgundy would say, things escalated pretty quickly. Manning found Manningham for a 25-yard score, Jacobs rumbled in from 30 yards out, and before you could even say “fractured clavicle”, it was 38-20. And I’m pretty sure Brick killed a guy with a trident somewhere along the way. This sudden outburst of 31 unanswered points could be attributed to the fact that the Cowboys either, a) simply had no clue how to cover any of our wide receivers (especially Hakeem Nicks) or b) just didn’t want to cover them anymore. It could also be attributed to the fact that Jon Kitna hadn’t played a single down in the NFL in 2 years and was over-throwing every receiver by at least 20 yards. I mean, I’m pretty sure that he threw one third-down pass to Miles Austin that he couldn’t have caught if he was standing on the top step of one of those 25-foot ladders the WWE uses in ladder matches.

The final score (41-35 for those of you who actually followed through on their threat to turn the game off early and then slept through most of today) made the game seem a lot closer than it actually was. I was never once afraid that the Cowboys would come back at any point in the 4th quarter, mostly because I knew the Giants defense had eased off the throttle a little bit and also because I knew that there was no way Jon Kitna was going to pull a Brett Favre on us. Would I have liked the Giants to show a little bit more of a “killer instinct” late in the game and blitz Kitna into oblivion until the final gun? Yes, but it didn’t happen. It’s something we’ll have to work on during our bye week.

For now though, I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that I’m pretty damn content with where our New York Football Giants stand. At 5-2, we now hold sole possession of first place in the NFC East, a spot that we cannot relinquish even during our bye next week. We currently have the #2 total defense in the NFL in yards allowed, as well as the #2 total offense in the NFL in yards gained (at one point during last night’s game, we had 407 total yards to only 78 for Dallas). This stat doesn’t mean a whole lot right now, because the #1 team in both of those categories is the San Diego Chargers and they’re 2-5, still it’s nice to know. Eli Manning is tied for the league-lead in touchdown passes with 14 and is fifth in the league in completion percentage at 65.7. Ahmad Bradshaw leads the NFL in rushing yards with 708, ahead of both Adrian Peterson and Chris Johnson, and Hakeem Nicks is tied for the league-lead in touchdown catches with 8.

As great as all of those numbers are though, the only one that matters right now is the one in the column with the “W” on top. Wins. As long as we can keep adding to that number, we’ll be fine. For now though, we’ll take it one week at a time.

 

*Giants Fact of the Week*: The Giants have started the season 5-2 or better every year since 2004.





Trying to Understand the Giants (and Week 5 Quick Picks)

7 10 2010

I love coincidences, especially weird coincidences, and considering that I have a freakish memory when it comes to remembering every Giants game from the last 5 or 6 years, I immediately noticed a very pleasantly weird coincidence after Sunday night’s 17-3 victory over the Chicago Bears. Here it is:

September 30th, 2007 (Week 4)

Giants 16, Eagles 3

Sunday Night Football

After starting the season 1-2 and getting our defense torched by the Cowboys and the Packers in consecutive weeks, we came into a Week 4 Sunday night game against the Eagles looking to pull ourselves back to .500 and stay in the thick of the NFC East race. All of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, the new Steve Spagnuolo defense exploded and we sacked Donovan McNabb an NFL-record tying 12 times, 6 of them coming from Osi Umenyiora. We shut out the Eagles for most of the time until they managed to add a late field goal. By the way, in case anyone forgot, we would go on to finish 10-6 that season and win the Super Bowl.

October 3rd, 2010 (Week 4)

Giants 17, Bears 3

Sunday Night Football

After starting the season 1-2 and getting our defense torched by the Colts and the Titans in consecutive weeks, we came into a Week 4 Sunday night game against the Bears looking to pull ourselves back to .500 and stay in the thick of the NFC East race. All of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, the new Perry Fewell defense exploded and we sacked Jay Cutler 9 times. We knocked him out of the game, then we knocked his backup, Todd Collins, out of the game too. Our 10 total sacks fell 2 short of the record and 6 of them came from Osi Umenyiora and Justin Tuck. We shut out the Bears for most of the time until they managed to add a late field goal. Of course, we don’t know how this season will turn out yet, I just like coincidences, and this was a pretty fun one to point out.

By no means am I saying that Sunday night was our coming out party and that all of a sudden we have transformed into a defensive force to be reckoned with, but it could have been. Anything can happen in the NFL, we already know that. It’s a strange and sometimes unexplainable game. Could it have taken 3 weeks for the new defensive scheme to finally click and for everything to fall into place for this defense? Certainly, it took 3 weeks in 2007. If you watched that game on Sunday night and didn’t get flashbacks of Super Bowl XLII as Umenyiora crashed through the line and wrapped up Cutler for the 900th time, then you didn’t pay close enough attention. If you watched that defensive domination on Sunday night and it didn’t make you even a little giddy with excitement, then I don’t know what to tell you, you’re probably wasting your time.

I love high-scoring shootouts just as much as the next person, but I may be in the minority when I say that almost 9 times out of 10, I would prefer to see a knock-down, drag-out slugfest over a shootout. On Sunday night, that’s exactly what we got. Was it pretty? No, most of the time it was actually pretty ugly. ESPN’s Bill Simmons was at the game and at one point in the first half he tweeted that watching these two teams was like “watching two five year-olds trying to take down a pinata at a birthday party.” For the majority of the game, the Giants offense seemed just as inept as the Bears offense, but once the second-half rolled around, the offense woke up. Eli Manning didn’t play a perfect game, but he did what he needed to do to help the Giants win, and more importantly, he didn’t make any mistakes. Big throws late in the game to Hakeem Nicks and Steve Smith enabled the Giants to tack on much-needed insurance points and big runs by Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs put the nail in the coffin late in the 4th. Although Bradshaw’s fumble on the Bears 1 as he was going in to score in the 4th gave us flashbacks of the Titans game and probably heartburn too, this time it was the defense that came to the rescue, just as it had been doing all night. We ended up totaling almost 200 yards on the ground against the Bears, who were ranked No. 1 in the league against the run going into Week 4.

Listen, I don’t know whether our defense was that good on Sunday night or if the Bears were just that bad. I’m sure that it was a little bit of both, but what I do know is that the defense was scary good and for the first time in maybe a year, as I walked out of the stadium, I was excited about Giants football. If we can repeat that performance against the Texans high-powered offense this week, then I’ll be thoroughly impressed. Who knows, maybe we will.

Now onto my Week 5 picks. I was under .500 for the 4th week in a row last week (6-8) and I’m well on the way to my worst season ever. I could probably close my eyes and pick these games and still have a better record than I do now.

Denver (+7) over BALTIMORE

Two teams that posted dramatic 4th quarter wins last week. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE HIGHLANDER.

Jacksonville (pick ‘em) over BUFFALO

This game wouldn’t even be exciting in TECMO Super Bowl.

INDIANAPOLIS (-7.5) over Kansas City

The Colts, coming off of a rough loss to Jacksonville, going up against the last remaining unbeaten team in the league. Yes, the Kansas City Chiefs are the last unbeaten team in the NFL.

DETROIT (-3) over St. Louis

The Rams are 2-2 right now, which means that they’re only about 5 more wins away from clinching the NFC West.

Atlanta (-3) over CLEVELAND

Atlanta and New Orleans are going to slug it out for the NFC South title later in December. I can feel it coming.

CINCINNATI (-6.5) over Tampa Bay

T.O. had a huge game last week, Carson Palmer had a huge game last week, things look like they’re coming together for the Bengals. Wait….what is that? They didn’t win the game? I bet T.O. didn’t even notice, too busy staring at the box score.

Chicago (+1) over CAROLINA

I mean, the Bears looked absolutely terrible on Sunday night, but to make them underdog to the Panthers….I don’t know if they were that terrible. Okay, maybe they were.

Green Bay (-2.5) over WASHINGTON

Somehow the Packers beat the Lions and scored 28 points last week and Aaron Rodgers was only 12/17 passing. I don’t know how it happened, but it did, and I’m not too happy about it.

HOUSTON (-3) over NY Giants

You know I’m not picking the Giants.

New Orleans (-6.5) over ARIZONA

The Derek Anderson Experiment is turning out about as well for the Cardinals as the Philadelphia Experiment did.

San Diego (-6) over OAKLAND

I’m decidedly undecided about whether or not the Chargers are actually good, and I can’t see that changing after this week either.

Tennessee (+7) over DALLAS

I enjoyed getting the chance to forget the Cowboys existed last week.

Philadelphia (+3) over SAN FRANCISCO

Who is playing quarterback for the Eagles this week? Michael Vick? Kevin Kolb? Randall Cunningham? It’s almost as if Andy Reid doesn’t want to be an NFL coach ever again.

NY JETS (-4) over Minnesota

Minnesota (+4) over NY JETS

I’m going to regret changing this pick, but I’m drunk with excitement over Brett Favre to Randy Moss becoming a reality, as Darrelle Revis limps after him while holding his hamstring.

Last Week: 6-8

Season Totals: 25-37






Why the Giants Are So Disappointing (and Week 4 Quick Picks)

1 10 2010

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - SEPTEMBER 26: Eli Manning  of the New York Giants watches during the last minutes of the Giants game against the Tennessee Titans at New Meadowlands Stadium on September 26, 2010 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The Titans beat the Giants 29 - 10. (Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images)

I’m sorry that it’s taken me until Friday to finally break my silence on what exactly I witnessed last Sunday afternoon from section 327 of the Stadium With No Name. It’s just that for the last few days, every time I started to think about that game I would start to gag a lot and dry heave. To make a long story short, it was ugly. It wasn’t at all what I expected to see when I walked into the Stadium on Sunday. Two weeks ago, I went into the Indianapolis game half-expecting to lose. I thought we would show up and give them a good game, I certainly hoped that we would win, but I didn’t really expect it to happen. And it didn’t happen, but I wasn’t that upset. I mean, this was the defending AFC Champion Colts. This was the reigning NFL MVP, Peyton Manning. Of course they were going to come out of the gates full-throttle and of course they weren’t going to start the season 0-2. Okay, point taken.

I figured that Sunday would be a much different story. We were playing a Titans team that looked like an absolute train wreck the week before against Pittsburgh. Their offense turned the ball over 7 times (not including 3 more fumbles that they ended up recovering) and Vince Young was pulled from the game by Jeff Fisher, something that I thought would ultimately shatter his already extremely fragile self-confidence and have him roaming the streets at 2 a.m. again and having his Mom report him missing to the police.

Instead, we looked like the fragile team lacking self-confidence on Sunday. We let the Tennessee Titans come into our building and embarrass us. The worst part of it? They were outplayed. In almost every aspect of the game, we owned them statistically. Time of possession, passing yards, rushing yards, total yards. Almost every aspect. Of course there were two big categories we didn’t own: turnovers and stupid mistakes, and we made a heck of a lot of both on Sunday.

What is more disappointing then coming out and being completely dominated and pushed back from the ball like we were in Week 2 against the Colts? Well, that would be what the Giants did on Sunday. Coming out and doing practically everything in your power to give the game away. After the game, I was hard-pressed to find one thing that didn’t go wrong for the Giants on Sunday. Poor decision to throw an awkward left-handed pass into the end zone from the 5-yard line, resulting in a drive-killing interception? Check. Missed field goal? Check. We had two in fact. Fumbles in the red zone? Check. Extremely stupid penalties, either killing an offensive drive or extending a Titans possession? Check. You name it, we did it. It was an afternoon of Murphy’s Law for the New York Football Giants on Sunday; everything that could go wrong, did go wrong, and at the worst moments.

And THAT is what the most disappointing thing about this Giants team is. They actually played very well on the offensive side of the ball. Eli Manning was something like 24/28 with 300 yards through the air going into the fourth quarter. We were driving down the field almost every time we had the ball, but we just weren’t scoring. Why? Two turnovers inside the 5 yard line and two missed field goals could have yielded 20 possible points that we squandered with stupid mistakes. The defense? They did their job too. Before breaking a big 42-yard run late in the 4th, we held the explosive Chris Johnson to only 71 yards on 28 carries. That’s less than 3 yards a carry. Pretty solid. We made big plays when we had to, we got to Vince Young and put pressure on him, daring him to use his arm to beat us. He couldn’t. But do you know what ultimately did beat us? Ourselves. We beat ourselves on Sunday, and until we can stop shooting ourselves in the foot against teams like the Titans, we can’t and won’t be a serious contender in the NFC. On Sunday night against a 3-0 Bears team, they get their first chance to prove that they’re trying to fix that.  I’m just hoping that I can give my gag reflex the night off.

Now on to the Week 4 quick picks. I was 4-12 last week. No, that wasn’t a typo, I actually only picked 4 games right out of 16. I’m not joking when I say that I’m terrible at this.

Denver (+6.5) over TENNESSEE

PITTSBURGH (-2.5) over Baltimore

Cincinnati (-3) over CLEVELAND

GREEN BAY (-14) over Detroit

NEW ORLEANS (-13.5) over Carolina

ATLANTA (-7) over San Francisco

ST. LOUIS (+1) over Seattle

NY Jets (-5.5) over BUFFALO

Indianapolis (-7) over JACKSONVILLE

Houston (-3) over OAKLAND

Arizona (+8.5) over SAN DIEGO

Washington (+5.5) over PHILADELPHIA

Chicago (+3.5) over NY GIANTS

(By the way, who made that line?)

New England (-1) over MIAMI

Last Week: 4-12

Season Totals: 19-29 (seriously.)

Note: My fantasy team is going up against Bruce Gradkowski this week. If we lose, I quit.





Oops?

20 09 2010

I don’t have much to say about last night’s game. It was everything that I had hoped all week that it wouldn’t be. It was exactly what all Giants fans were afraid of the moment the game clock showed all zeros against Carolina last week; we just wouldn’t admit it. This “it” that I’m talking about is none other than the 800 lb. gorilla in the New Meadowlands Stadium — our defense.

For most of the second half of last season, our defense was a nightmare. We already know that, we were there, we witnessed it. The back-to-back 41-9 and 44-7 losses to the Panthers and Vikings to close out the season was the proverbial cherry on top of what was a first-rate disaster. It was just about as poor of an excuse for a defense as I had ever seen in my 15+ years as a Giants fan.

When the offseason rolled around, so did the answer we were all looking for to fix our broken defense (or so we thought). Defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan was made the convenient scapegoat, he was fired (and perhaps rightfully so) and we hired a new one, Perry Fewell. Fewell brought in a new energy and a fresh perspective on the defensive side of the ball and his “read and react” defensive schemes were something that was supposed to take our defense to new heights. We didn’t care what he did, as long as those last few weeks of the 2009 season were made a distant memory.

Last week against Carolina, this new defense seemed to work pretty damn well. As far as I could tell up in section 322 (and then again on TV when I re-watched the game at home) the defense looked like they were rejuvenated, like it was 2007-2008 all over again. They put pressure on Matt Moore, they created big turnovers at the most opportune moments and they stopped the run. Basically, they did nearly everything that they failed to do last year.

Things looked promising. We were finally healthy at all positions, offseason acquisitions of Deon Grant and Antrel Rolle had everybody excited about the secondary (weird, I know) and frankly I was a little giddy at the thought of having both Kenny Phillips and Rolle, two Miami U guys, patrolling the defensive backfield.

However, the one drawback to having the Carolina Panthers come to town for the season opener is that although we looked really good at times last week, we looked really good against the Carolina Panthers. After this week’s loss to the Tampa Bay Bucs, we learned that it’s not really all that hard to look good against the Carolina Panthers. And maybe that’s where we were duped.

Last night, we were exploited in just about every way a defense can be exploited. Kenny Phillips, who had the dubious responsibility of covering Dallas Clark, got burned by Dallas Clark several times for big plays. Peyton Manning effortlessly threaded the ball through holes in our coverage and put the ball where only Peyton Manning can put the ball and it seemed like play after play we had somebody in the wrong position. Now I realize that this is what Peyton Manning does and that he isn’t the reigning MVP for no reason, but still, it just looked too easy and besides, the Texans defense didn’t seem to have too much of a problem last week.

That wasn’t what bothered me the most about last night’s game though. What bothered me the most was the 160 yards of rushing that the Colts offense put up. After preparing all week, both mentally and physically, for the aerial onslaught that playing the Colts was sure to bring, they did just the opposite of that and proceeded to run the ball down our throats for the first quarter, resulting in almost 120 yards on the ground before halftime. It was embarrassing to say the least, especially coming from a team that finished either dead last or next to last in rushing for the last 3 years. And the Colts weak run defense that allowed Arian Foster to romp for over 200 yards last week? It allowed only 120 last night, most of it coming from Bradshaw well after the game was already decided.

Might it be considered nitpicking for me to completely and mercilessly pick apart a Week 2, non-divisional, non-conference loss to the defending AFC Champions led by arguably the best quarterback of our generation? Probably. But that still doesn’t take away from the discouraging performance our boys in blue put on at Lucas Oil Stadium last night.

Thankfully, we are still 1-1, and thankfully we head back home next week to face a Tennessee Titans team that looked to be about 10 times the disaster we were yesterday in a horrifying 19-11 loss to Pittsburgh that featured 7 turnovers and a benched Vince Young. The only thing that bothers me about next week is this: if our defense could barely contain Joseph Addai and Donald Brown, how are they going to fare against Chris Johnson on Sunday? It makes me a little uneasy just thinking about it.

Either way though, at least we’re not 0-2 like the Cowboys.








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