The Last Great Rivalry in Sports?

25 09 2009

On Sunday the New York Daily News ran a special feature story that caught my eye when I walked into my house. It was titled “The Last Great Rivalry in Sports” and included a nice pull-out section with stories about the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. Now I fully realize that everybody is in a rush these days to make Grand Statements about things and to be the first to proclaim something as the “First Great” thing or the “Last Great” thing, but come on Daily News, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. We all want to grab headlines and sound like we know what we’re talking about, but to call the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry, “The Last Great Rivalry in Sports” sounds a little premature to me.

Coming from a New York paper, this doesn’t surprise me too much. Being a New York sports fan, I’m very aware that we are an egocentric sports city. We are quick to proclaim ourselves as the biggest and the best and the most elite, and quick to dismiss those smaller than us.  After all, this is a city that is home to the Yankees and Giants and Knicks and such landmarks like Yankee Stadium and Madison Square Garden filled with enough heroes of the past, present and future to devote an entire hall of fame to; so yeah, maybe we tend to get a little pompous at times.

In that case, let’s go ahead and call the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry the Last Great Rivalry in Sports and completely disregard all of the other great rivalries that still exist. I’m not a movie critic or anything, far from it actually, but I feel like this would be the equivalent of someone calling Citizen Kane the “Last Great Movie in American Cinema”. Many people consider it to be the greatest movie ever, but it doesn’t mean other great movies haven’t been made since then. Yes, I would consider the Yankees and Red Sox to be the greatest rivalry in sports right now, hands down. I’m not a fan of either team and the 2004 ALCS was still one of the most memorable playoff series I’ve ever watched. Watching that epic choke series is what made me fall in love with baseball again, as romantic as that sounds. So I would easily consider the Yankees and Red Sox to be the best rivalry in sports, and in that respect I wholeheartedly agree with the Daily News. I mean they are consistently two of the best teams in baseball year in and year out and whenever they meet in the playoffs it is always interesting. Their fans hate each other and they’re always running neck and neck in the American League. What’s not to love?

While all that is certainly true though, I would not call them the Last Great Rivalry. To say that implies that there are no great rivalries left anymore. Only the Yankees and the Red Sox. That’s just not true. First of all, we all love our baseball here in New York, but it’s not the only sport that exists. This might be hard to illustrate, thanks to the Knicks and the fact that most New Yorkers have erased the memory of pro basketball from their minds like Jim Carrey erased Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but it does still exist. Take the Celtics-Lakers rivalry. As far as sports goes, this rivalry defined the 1980’s. This rivalry was the NBA’s equivalent of bad haircuts and Depeche Mode in the ’80’s. Bird vs. Magic. The Boston Garden. The ‘86 Finals. All great, all memorable. So then why am I bringing this up if it happened 20 years ago? Because it’s still relevant. The Celtics are finally great again, and the Lakers are back on top. Both teams relived their glory days in the 2008 Finals. The Celtics won in 5 games. This year, the Lakers won the title. Instead of Bird vs. Magic, it’s Kobe vs. KG. Not the same by any means, but still intense. Still competitive. Still memorable. Celtics fans still hate the Lakers, and guess what? Lakers fans still hate the Celtics. So tell me that’s not a rivalry. The NFL isn’t a hot-bed for rivalries anymore these days, but a few still exist, mainly in the oldest divisions like the NFC East, NFC North, and AFC West. Giants-Cowboys? Rivalry. Giants-Eagles? Rivalry. Packers-Bears? Classic rivalry. Raiders-Chiefs, Raiders-Chargers, Raiders-Broncos? Rivalries.

These rivalries might not be as continuously compelling as the Yankees-Red Sox, the teams may not always be good, but that doesn’t mean the hatred for the other team just disappears. It’s still there, it still exists. Just because they don’t meet in the playoffs every year like the Yankees and Sox doesn’t mean we can just forget about these rivalries, because the truth is every time those teams above play each other, you’re drawn to it because you just know there’s a possibility of something interesting happening. There’s drama, there’s hatred and there’s intrigue, kind of like every episode of The Real World.

Don’t even get me started on college football. For God’s sake, a majority of the sport’s draw is based on its classic rivalries. Even NCAA Football 2010 has a special feature that lets you know which games are Rivalry Games. You’re telling me that on a Thursday night in October you’re going to watch Grey’s Anatomy over Texas-Oklahoma? College rivalries are the best of all when you think about it. Entire families are divided when it comes down to which school to pledge allegiance to. It’s because in college sports you have people directly connected to the rivalry. People who attended the school, people who work at the school. In pro sports you don’t have that same personal allegiance. Do me a favor and drive through Clemson University the day before a game against South Carolina. Or better yet, walk around campus with a Gamecocks shirt on. Then you tell me that the Yankees-Red Sox is the last great rivalry. Flip through the channels on a Saturday afternoon and stumble across a Michigan-Ohio State game or Florida-Florida State and tell me that there’s no more great rivalries left.

And now since I spent a thousand words venting about rivalries, I’ll give you a Cliff’s Notes version of this week’s NFL picks. I will sum up each pick in 140 characters or less. Think of it as the NFL Picks, Twitter Style. 

Home teams in ALL CAPS

Tennessee (+2.5) over NY JETS

Jets: Desperados :: Titans: Desperate

HOUSTON (-4) over Jacksonville

Jags fans officially start the Tim Tebow Countdown.

Kansas City (+8.5) over PHILADELPHIA

Eagles – Donovan McNabb + Michael Vick – 8.5 point spread = 0

BALTIMORE (-13.5) over Cleveland

Browns fans starting to wonder if that commercial where LeBron plays football could really happen.

NY Giants (-6.5) over TAMPA BAY

Tampa fans seem to think this team is the worst ever. Do they not remember the Yuckaneers from 1985-86?

DETROIT (+6.5) over Washington

Upset Special of the Week: Matthew Stafford’s coming-out party.

Green Bay (-6.5) over ST. LOUIS

Field day for Pack D: Rams have scored 7 points in first two games.

San Francisco (+7) over MINNESOTA

Singletary and the Niners go to 3-0; Bay Area begins to vaguely remember what it was like to cheer for a good football team.

NEW ENGLAND (-4.5) over Atlanta

Think of it like this: If the Pats don’t come with everything but the kitchen sink in this one, then everyone will know that the Big Bad Dynasty is dead.

Chicago (-2.5) over SEATTLE

Jay Cutler reminds me of the 2005 version of Tim Hasselbeck.

New Orleans (-6) over BUFFALO

Are the Saints the best team in the NFC?  Not a hard feat against the Lions and Kevin Kolb’s Eagles so far.

SAN DIEGO (-6) over Miami

Maybe the Dolphins could control the ball for 45 minutes again and not win the game.

Pittsburgh (-3.5) over CINCINNATI

Steelers should try not to leave this game in the hands (or feet) of Jeff Reed. More hot and cold than Katy Perry this season.

Denver (-1.5) over OAKLAND

First real test for Broncos after 2 games against Browns and Bengals. Oops, did I just call the Raiders a “real test”?

Indianapolis (+2,5) over ARIZONA

Don’t bet against Peyton Manning on the road in a primetime game unless he’s playing the Chargers. Or something along those lines. Isn’t that the rule?

DALLAS (-8.5) over Carolina

This game has Texas Chainsaw Massacre written all over it.

 

Last Week: 11-5

Season Total: 21-11





NFL Week 2 Picks

19 09 2009

I was 10-6 last weekend, which is pretty solid for Week 1, or pretty poor considering I should be 16-0 every week, however you choose to look at it. The fact that this season just keeps getting stranger and stranger and we haven’t even played two full weeks yet, is but a testament to how the NFL never ceases to surprise. Well, I’m not really surprised, but this is what I’ve come to expect. We’ll see what other stunts the league can pull on us this week.

Week 2 picks below (where I will go 16-0). As usual, home teams are in caps.

Oakland (+3) over KANSAS CITY

It’s not even certain that Matt Cassel will be on the field against the Raiders on Sunday, which would naturally pose the question of “WHO ELSE IS GOING TO PLAY QUARTERBACK???” I’ll blame it on the fact that I haven’t paid attention to the Chiefs since Priest Holmes was still alive, but I wasn’t aware they had other quarterbacks. Upon further investigation I discovered that their backup is indeed still Brodie Croyle, so no thank you, I’ll take the Raiders. They looked somewhat like an actual football team last week and less like the prison team from The Longest Yard, playing while Warden Al Davis looked down from the gun tower.

Houston (+6.5) over TENNESSEE

You can sell me on a Titans win over the Texans, maybe, but you’re not selling me on the 6.5 point spread. The Texans did look bad last week, but let’s face it, the Jets defense can make anyone look bad (I’m trying so hard not to laugh). So I’m expecting Houston (namely, Andre Johnson) to bounce back this week and make this game somewhat interesting. What I’m really feeling is something along the lines of a 22-20 finish. Trust me.

New England (-3.5) over NY JETS

Help me figure out what the more pathetic story to come out this week is: Rex Ryan’s ridiculous phone message to season-ticket holders practically pleading for them to come out on Sunday and help him out, or the fact that Kerry Rhodes wants to “embarrass” the Patriots. I understand that this is a big game for Rex and the Jets to prove themselves to the league and to prove that they can be contender, but really, it all looks like a facade to me. You haven’t heard a single peep out of the Pats this week. Basically the Jets are trying to psych out a team that cannot be psyched out. I’m sorry, but this is the same team that ran up the score against the Dolphins in a Week 2 game a few years ago, just because they could. I’m afraid for the Jets and their fans on Sunday, because when I look at Mark “Sanchise” Sanchez and his rippling GQ abs and then I look at Tom Brady and his rippling GQ abs and his propensity to eat NFL teams for lunch… like I said, I’m trying hard not to laugh. Maybe the Jets (say it with a soft “J”) will prove me wrong, but I hope not.

GREEN BAY (-9) over Cincinnati

Yet another nugget of intrigue to come out of this week is Chad Johnson Ochocinco’s claim that he will try to replicate the Lambeau Leap on Sunday when he scores a touchdown. Now, there are a number of things that are funny about this. First, Esteban, “The Most Interesting Man in Football” Ochocinco makes his scoring a touchdown on Sunday seem like an inevitability, which is funny considering he hasn’t seen the end zone since Week 6 of last season. Second, he tried to do the same thing last year in Cleveland and ended up getting pelted with enough beer to make Lindsay Lohan drunk dial the Olsen twins. I wish you the best of luck on your conquest Chad, just know that I have the Green Bay defense on my fantasy team, so I hope that you get nowhere near the endzone on Sunday. Also, as we saw last weekend, the Bengals are terrible at defending the “last-second hail mary to a wide receiver who peaked 6 years ago” play, so this one’s all you, Donald Driver.

Minnesota (-9.5) over DETROIT

Brett Favre’s stat line for last week’s opener against Cleveland: 14/21, 110 yards. I’m sorry, but what did Brett do over the summer, attend the “Chad Pennington School for Quarterbacks Who Can’t Throw Good And Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too”? Did he throw a single pass past the line of scrimmage? I’m not mad, I’m actually amazed. I guess he can have stat lines like that when his running back will probably average up around 200 yards every week. At least we won’t forget who this team belongs to: Adrian Peterson. Here’s your second fiddle Brett, learn to play it well.

New Orleans (-1) over PHILADELPHIA

Seriously, what is it with the Eagles and these 1-point spreads? Are they really an enigma that’s so hard to unravel that no one is sure whether to bet for them or against them? Come on guys, Donovan McNabb has a fractured McRib, and so that means we’ll probably see a lot of Jeff Garcia, a Giants fan’s worst nightmare. If you think that the Saints would probably rather see McNabb than Garcia at this point, you’re probably right, because frankly Garcia scares the bejesus out of me, I don’t care how old he is. And since I used the word “bejesus” and I’m under the age of 60, I’ll end this right here.

Carolina (+6) over ATLANTA

I will probably immediately regret this pick, about 6 minutes into the 1:00 games on Sunday, when I look up and Atlanta already has a 14-0 lead and Delhomme has 3 INTs. But you only get one life, one chance, so we have to take risks sometimes, and the Falcons didn’t look so hot against Miami last week. I just hope that Michael Turner returns from the Witness Protection Program this week. WE NEED YOU MICHAEL, COME BACK.

WASHINGTON (-9.5) over St. Louis

This one screams “IT’S A LOCK” so loudly that I’m almost tempted to change my pick in the suicide pool. Because sometimes you might think that you hear “IT’S A LOCK”, but in reality “IT’S A TRAP!” This game has all the classic symptoms of Trap Game Syndrome. And now everyone is changing the picks for their suicide pool from the Redskins to the Vikings. You’re welcome.

Arizona (+3) over JACKSONVILLE

Wow, how this cold, harsh world can turn on a poor Super Bowl runner-up in a heartbeat. On top of the world one moment, and then the next moment you’re underdogs to the Jacksonville Jaguars. I’m sorry Cardinals. The whole world talked about how the 49ers were probably better than most people expected before the game last week, and then when they actually won, everybody was shocked. Super Bowl hangover, slump, coma, whatever you want to call it, it exists, but come on give the Cards some credit.

SAN FRANCISCO (-1) over Seattle

As much as I would like to believe that the Seahawks are back, and Matt Hasselbeck used a special age-reversing formula and T.J. Houshmandzadeh shortened his last name to just “The Housh”, I can’t yet. It could partly be due to the fact that Seattle dismantled Rick Moranis’s team from the Little Giants last week. If they can look as good as they did against the Rams, against an NFL team (and calling the 49ers an NFL team is even stretching it just a tad) then I can believe that the Seahawks are back. Then and only then.

BUFFALO (-4.5) over Tampa Bay

Last week’s game against New England was like a microcosm of the Bills entire 2008 season. It started off with “Wow, the Bills kind of look good, am I really seeing this? Are you really sure these are the Buffalo Bills? From Buffalo?” to “Oh no, here we go again, thanks a lot @$%@&*!”  to finally, “These are our Buffalo Bills. They were what we thought they were.” The bottom line is that the Bills had the Patriots beat last week. They absolutely owned the first 55 minutes of that game. If Leodis McKelvin falls to the turf with the ball on that kickoff instead of trying to return it, the Bills run out the clock and everybody is talking this week about how Brady still isn’t Brady and “what has happened to the Patriots?” and not about T.O. pointing fingers (again).  But it didn’t happen that way, so here’s another chance for Buffalo, in their home-opener against a Tampa Bay defense that leaves a lot to be desired.

DENVER (-3) over Cleveland

It must be nice for the Broncos to open up the season against the Bengals and Browns back to back. It must also be nice for Kyle Orton to be able to heave a ball 50 yards downfield and know that Brandon Stokely will run under it and somehow make the catch and that there will be absolutely zero defenders behind him. Must be nice.

Baltimore (+3) over SAN DIEGO

Joe Flacco is from Jersey, Ray Rice is a Rutgers alum, so what is there not to like about this Ravens team? Nothing! I like it all, and this is the first time I’ve said that out loud since the Super Bowl We Do Not Speak Of. But it’s been almost 9 years now, so I guess time heals all wounds. Time and Super Bowl XLII. I’m not afraid of the Ravens anymore, and I’m definitely not afraid of the Chargers. Not after last week’s near-disaster in Oakland. If Philip Rivers had trouble against the big, bad Raiders defense, I’d like to see him have at it against Baltimore’s D.

PITTSBURGH (-3) over Chicago

Good news, Jay Cutler says that he’s not too concerned over his 4 INT train-wreck last Sunday against the Packers. Oh that’s good Jay, you’re not worried? Well do you know who is worried? EVERY BEARS FAN IN AMERICA. Why wouldn’t they be, Cutler completed 4 passes to guys in Packers uniforms, almost more than one quarter of the amount of passes he completed to his own team. Hopefully Willie Parker follows Michael Turner’s lead and emerges from Witness Protection, because something is scaring my fantasy RB’s into hiding and I don’t like it.

NY Giants (+3) over DALLAS

Good, make the Cowboys favorites. I’m trying really hard to find my weekly Obscenely Huge Video Board Hanging Over the Field joke, but I can’t think of anything right now. So I’ll just let you know that I called all the Giants season ticket holders this week and I left them all a voice message, which said something along the lines of “you better watch the game this week, it’s on NBC, it’s carried by all basic cable providers, if you don’t want to listen to Cris Collinsworth you can hit mute if you want and put some music on in the background. Also, make sure you drink a lot and try to come up with as many unique insults as you can, related to Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson/how the Cowboys haven’t won a playoff game in 14 years. Thank you. Go Giants.” Anyway, I have come up with a Videoboard joke, which also doubles as a new drinking game. Play this on Sunday night while you’re watching the game: Every time a punt hits the Video Board, you take a shot. Nice and simple, but watch, you’re going to be hammered by the end of the game.

Indianapolis (-3) over MIAMI

Another game involving the Colts which will likely be about as interesting as clipping coupons.

Last Week: 10-6

Season Total: 10-6





NFL Week 1 Picks

10 09 2009

This is the day I’ve been waiting for since the commissioner handed the Steelers the Lombardi Trophy on February 1st. That’s right kids, it’s the first day of the NFL regular season! Tonight’s game, a match-up between the defending champs, the Steelers, and last year’s regular season champs, the Titans, should be a great game with lots of excitement and very little scoring. Sounds like every party I went to in college!

Here are my Week 1 picks, home teams in all caps.

Titans (+5) over STEELERS

The first game of the NFL season kicks off tonight in Pittsburgh as the Steelers will start their NFL record 6th title defense. They’ll start it against a Titans team that looked like the strongest team in the league for most of last season…until the playoffs started (hey, just like the Giants!). Remember, this is the same Titans team that beat the Steelers in the regular season last year and then stomped on the Terrible Towel on the sidelines. I only remember this because ESPN had a 5-minute feature story on it yesterday. As if LenDale White stepping on a yellow towel was the same as someone stomping on the Shroud of Turin. The Steelers will win this one, but I see a close game, something along the lines of a 17-14 or 21-17 finish.

FALCONS (-4) over Dolphins

Here’s the first chance the Falcons have to show the world that last season was no fluke and that they mean business. NFL analysts, and even analysts of NFL analysts (like myself) seem to think that Atlanta will score a ton of points this season (why else would I be starting Michael Turner and Matt Ryan on my fantasy team), so a solid young defense like Miami’s will be the first real test. For the sake of debate, we’ll say that Turner scores 7 touchdowns and the Falcons win.

RAVENS (-8.5) over Chiefs

*Hint: If you’re in a Survivor pool, here’s your best bet for Week 1. While everyone and their mother is picking New Orleans over Detroit, you sneak in and take Baltimore and hope that Matthew Stafford throws for a million touchdowns. In all seriousness though, Matt Cassel is coming off of a minor preseason injury, the team says he’ll be 100% ready to go by Sunday, but the Ravens are a tough act to open to in your first real outing as a shiny, new starting quarterback.

Eagles (+1) over PANTHERS

I’m having a little trouble understanding how Vegas came up with this line. I don’t know if I would say the Eagles are underdogs, and even if you’re giving a little bit of a cushion to Carolina because they’re at home, why make it a 1-point spread? If you’re not going to stretch it to at least 2 or 3 points, why not just make it a pick ‘em? Either way, the only Panthers I keep seeing in my head now are the Panthers that got run out of their own stadium by Arizona in the playoffs last year and they will have to do a lot to erase that image of a grimacing Jake Delhomme from my mind. The Eagles should win this easily and Michael Vick will have nothing to do with it (because he’s not on the roster).

BENGALS (pick ‘em) over Broncos

Welcome to the Kyle Orton/Josh McDaniels/Brandon Marshall Era, Broncos fans! Can you name another team in the last five years (besides the 2007 Falcons or the Raiders, every year) who has had a worse offseason than the Broncos did this year? Because I can’t. Between Shanahan retiring and then Cutler crying his way out of town and the latest Brandon Marshall Circus, I just can’t believe the Broncos even want to field a team on Sunday. I’m on the 2009 Bengals bandwagon though, alongside Esteban Ochocinco, possibly the most annoying NFL player since Brian Bozworth.

Vikings (-3) over BROWNS

I think that 3 points is a little too modest for this line, after all I can’t even hear myself think anymore with all of the swooning going on over the Vikings and Brett Favre and Adrian Peterson and how they will own the NFC this season. So then only 3 points against Cleveland? What happened? At least Eric Man-genious has finally decided on a quarterback. I expect that decision to last all of 4 games.

TEXANS (-4) over Jets

The Texans are my pet sleeper team for 2009, and another team that I’ll be constantly monitoring all season because of my fantasy team. Which makes me directly affected by the success of the Houston Texans and now I’m involved. Too late to back out now. Don’t think the Texans don’t have anything to prove though, they’ve spent the last three seasons listening to people hype them up as the next breakout sleeper team and haven’t really lived up to the hype, so it’s now or never.

COLTS (-7) over Jaguars

If commercials were movies, Peyton Manning would probably be the highest paid actor in Hollywood right now. Which is fitting because brother Eli is now the highest paid player in the NFL. BOOM! You see what I did there? Good, neither did I. Basically, I’m tired of Peyton Manning and I’m tired of the Jaguars too.

SAINTS (-11.5) over Lions

*Hint: I was just kidding about my last hint. I mean, you can take the Ravens in your Survivor pool if you really want to, but you should also consider the Saints too. And for that matter, whatever team is playing the Lions for the rest of the season. The Lions will probably win a few games this season, but this one definitely will not be one of them.

Cowboys (-3) over BUCS

The Cowboys don’t open up their new stadium until next week against the Giants, so that means punters are safe for another week. What isn’t safe is the ball whenever Byron Leftwich is throwing it.

49ers (+6.5) over CARDINALS

I don’t even have a joke for this game. Nothing about Kurt Warner’s age or about Mike Singletary dropping his pants or even a good old fashioned Alex Smith joke. Nothing. I wish the best of luck to everyone involved in this game. Actually these two teams have had some pretty exciting games in the last few seasons so this one might be a lot closer than everyone thinks. Maybe even close enough for the Niners to cover the spread.

Redskins (+6) over GIANTS

The Redskins scored a total of 14 points in two games against the Giants last year. It’s a whole new season though and that means more time for Campbell to adapt to Jim Zorn’s system. The only thing that makes me nervous about this game (besides the Giants receivers) is the Giants have had the Redskins number in the last few years and a 6-point spread seems like quite a bit for an NFC battle on opening day. If anything, I see Washington covering this spread.

Rams (+7) over SEAHAWKS

While we’re on the topic of new beginnings, both of these teams could use one. It was a rough season last year for both of these teams (and pretty much all of the NFC West, besides Arizona) but now Seattle should be back to full strength with Hasselbeck back from injury and the addition of Houshmandzadeh will help. The Rams also have a lot to prove though and so does new coach Steve Spagnuolo, maybe a little bit more to prove than the Seahawks.

PACKERS (-3) over Bears

Classic NFC North slugfest getting forced down our throats in Week 1, before we’re even ready to fully appreciate it. At least wait for October guys, what’s the rush? I always love Packers-Bears games because they’re usually so evenly matched and anything can happen. I expect the same from this week, but the Pack is back for the most part and we’ll all see if it’s for real after Sunday night. Will this be the year that Aaron Rodgers takes the next step?

PATRIOTS (-10) over Bills

Chargers (-6.5) over RAIDERS





“Kiss the Baby…”

9 09 2009

I am positive that not a single person reading this really cares about my fantasy football team, but I’m very excited about this year’s squad, so I’m going to tell you about it anyway. Last year I grew extremely fond of my rag-team team of over-achievers who brought me within one win of taking the league championship and I’m happy to say that I managed to salvage a few of those guys for this year’s team.

It seems that last year was almost a perfect situation that occurs only once every few years. I say this because I had three running backs on my team last year (Michael Turner, Steve Slaton, Matt Forte) which are now Top 10 picks this season.  Plus, I picked up two of those guys, Slaton and Forte, off of waivers near the beginning of the season. Did I get lucky? Yes, there was certainly some luck involved in getting my hands on two running backs right before they broke-out and had enormous rookie seasons, but I’ll also gloat and say that it’s partly due to my incredible knowledge of the NFL and my eye for talent.

Anyway, this season I landed the second pick in the draft and managed to bring back Michael Turner, Andre Johnson and Kevin Walter from last year’s team. And I’m happy about that, considering Turner and Johnson were my two biggest players last season, as well as being my favorites. Not to mention that my bench is almost good enough to be someone’s starting team.  Here it is:

Starters

QB – Matt Ryan – Atlanta Falcons

RB – Michael Turner – Atlanta Falcons

RB – Willie Parker – Pittsburgh Steelers

WR – Andre Johnson – Houston Texans

WR – Greg Jennings – Green Bay Packers

TE – Greg Olsen – Chicago Bears

WR/RB/TE – Le’Ron McClain – Baltimore Ravens

K – Adam Vinatieri – Indianapolis Colts

DEF – Green Bay Packers

Bench

WR – Donald Driver – Green Bay Packers

WR – Kevin Walter – Houston Texans

QB – Carson Palmer – Cincinnati Bengals

RB – Jerious Norwood – Atlanta Falcons

WR – Steve Breaston – Arizona Cardinals

WR – Chris Chambers – San Diego Chargers

One thing you might notice is how I grabbed Jerious Norwood (Michael Turner’s back-up) for my bench as well as Donald Driver to complement Greg Jennings. I’ve got all the bases covered this season. Same thing with Andre Johnson and Kevin Walter, both Texans WR’s. I did that last season, starting both Johnson and Walter and it worked out beautifully. Kevin Walter scored 10 TD’s last season without anyone really noticing and mostly receives man-coverage because of the double-teams that Johnson demands.

Although Michael Turner is coming off of a 370 carry season and running backs rarely bounce back too well from a season with that big of a workload, I feel pretty good about his ability to score touchdowns and if not, Norwood is backing him up. Either way the Falcons are going to score a lot of points this season, so starting Ryan at QB will hopefully work out. If all else fails, Carson Palmer is a safe bet if he stays healthy.





MEGA, SUPERSIZED, COLOSSAL 2009 NFL Season Preview, Parts III and IV (Double Issue!)

8 09 2009

Buckle your seat belts and get ready for me to bang out my AFC preview in one post and no less than 3,000 words. Clear your schedule before reading this.

AFC East

1) New England Patriots (13-3)

This was probably one of the easiest choices I’ve ever had to make in my writing career. Which team to pick to win the AFC East. I don’t know if I can make a legitimate case for anybody in this division other than the Patriots when Tom Brady is healthy. And before you accuse me of melting and fawning in the presence of Tom Brady like Turtle in Entourage, just know that I don’t have a man-crush on him, I just WATCH FOOTBALL. I was there for the 16-0 season, I lived it. (I also lived Super Bowl XLII, but that’s okay (That was my one obligatory SBXLII reference for this column, sorry for the double parentheses.)) The Patriots are far and away the best team in this division. Even Brian Hoyer managed to shred the Giants second and third string defenses last night. The Chiefs will probably sign him to a $600 million dollar contract next offseason.

2) Buffalo Bills (10-6)

I still believe that this team is better than most people take them to be. If you can remember this far back, they did start last season with a 5-1 record, but 3 of those wins were against Seattle, Oakland and St. Louis. They then proceeded to lose 8 of their last 10 games and finish a stealthy 0-6 against division opponents. So the 5-1 start may have been the product of smoke and mirrors and slight of hand, but the addition of Terrell Owens isn’t going to hurt. Hate T.O. all you want, but he never fails to produce, and this season in Buffalo, he’ll do something else very important: he’ll draw double coverage from most teams leaving the dangerous Josh Reed and Lee Evans more room to make big plays. If Marshawn Lynch stays healthy and doesn’t disappear off the face of the earth like he did last season and if Trent Edwards is at least semi-competent, the Bills can finish second. That’s about it though.

3) New York Jets (8-8)

I’m not sold on Mark Sanchez and I probably never will be sold on Mark Sanchez unless he is not Mark Sanchez anymore or if the Jets win their first 9 or 10 games this season. Otherwise, I’ll pass. It probably has a lot to do with his GQ spread before even playing a single down in the NFL and the fact that he went pro after one full season at USC and magically became a Top-10 pick. Something about that just rubs me the wrong way. Say what you will, but I’m a skeptic. I’m a skeptic because I don’t believe in Mark Sanchez and I’m a skeptic because Mark Sanchez has nobody to throw to. As a Giants fan, I know I shouldn’t be throwing stones and all, but Jerricho Cotchery is Jerricho Cotchery. They are what we thought they were.

4) Miami Dolphins (8-8)

Let’s assume that just about every team in the league is now aware of the Wildcat offense by now. It’s a safe assumption. Let’s assume that the Dolphins can no longer pull the wool over your eyes and run this crazy offensive scheme where Ronnie Brown is taking direct snaps and Chad Pennington is catching passes, because we know it’s coming now. Let’s assume that the Dolphins will no longer be capable of scoring 48 points against the Patriots this season. Now let’s also assume that Chad Pennington starts playing like Chad Pennington and not like a real quarterback, which is what he looked like for most of last season. Then what do we have left? We have the Miami Dolphins we all know and love; overwhelmingly mediocre.

AFC North

1) Baltimore Ravens (13-3)

The Ravens were one of the teams that impressed me the most in last year’s playoffs. Ultimately, the Ravens demise in the AFC Championship against Pittsburgh was rookie quarterback Joe Flacco, who was so impressive during the regular season. But it was what was expected of a young quarterback, playing in probably the biggest game of his life to that point. In his second season now, I expect Flacco to make even bigger strides in improving his game management and limiting his mistakes. He has a solid arm and great efficiency and we already know that Baltimore can run the football. Willis McGahee, LeRon McClain and Ray Rice will split carries again this year and look for Rice to be more productive as a pass-catching back as well. Do I even have to even mention the defense? We all know that the Ravens D is the cream of the crop, second only to the next team….Pittsburgh. So why do I have B-More winning the division? Because I like to be different, and because they impressed me in the playoffs last seaso—- I don’t want to repeat myself, you get it.

2) Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4)

I know, they’re the defending champions, and blahblahblah. The post-Super Bowl slump is a real thing though, it does exist. Just ask the Giants. Sure, they finished 12-4 last year, but did you see that Philadelphia game?  Exactly. Plus, two Super Bowl rings or not, I still feel the same way about Ben Roethlisberger as I did when he was a rookie: meh. Basically what I’m saying is that their defense should still win them about 5 or 6 games this season and Ben will do just enough to not lose in another 6.

3) Cincinnati Bengals (7-9)

Call me a victim of solid editing by HBO, but the 2009 Cincinnati Bengals are starting to grow on me. I’m a big fan of the Hard Knocks series and this season definitely is not lacking in the entertainment category. Unfortunately, entertainment doesn’t win you football games in the NFL. Just ask Chad Ochocinco. Sure, “Kiss the Baby” might catch on as the next ridiculous catch-phrase in sports, but Esteban needs to catch a few more touchdown passes than he did last year (4) for the Bengals to be relevant. It helps that Carson Palmer is back from last season’s injury and having him under center instead of Ryan Fitzpatrick is definitely good for at least 3 or 4 more wins. When he’s at 100%, there’s not denying that he’s one of the most talented quarterbacks in the league, so Cincinnati will improve with him back on the field.

4) Cleveland Browns (4-12)

There are a lot of funny quarterback battles this season. Between Luke McCown and Byron Leftwich in Tampa Bay (Leftwich won and McCown was just traded to Jacksonville), Alex Smith and Shaun Hill in San Francisco and Mark Sanchez and Kellen Clemens in New York, nothing tops the one going on in Cleveland right now. Derek Anderson vs. Brady Quinn. Nothing says “Rebuilding Year” like having Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn fighting over the quarterback position. Plus, Braylon Edwards would probably drop his own child if it was thrown at him.

AFC South

1) Indianapolis Colts (12-4)

Don’t write off the Colts this season, even with Tony Dungy leaving and Peyton Manning another year older, they’re still the same Indianapolis Colts and believe it or not, he’s still the same Peyton Manning. They didn’t impress a lot of people in the playoffs last year, getting ousted by San Diego in the first round, but the Chargers were one of the hottest teams in the league at that point and they have always had Peyton’s number. He has never had much luck against the 3-4 defense. Manning seems to be getting comfortable with the new system installed by new head coach Jim Caldwell and the Colts should enjoy themselves another solid season.

2) Tennessee Titans (10-6)

The Titans were one of the big surprises of 2008 and coasted into the playoffs with the best record in the AFC before being shut down in the Divisional Playoffs by Baltimore. What happened was that the Ravens played a very similar brand of football as Tennessee, stingy defense, solid running game, real smash-mouth football — only they played it better.  The fact of the matter is that Kerry Collins is good for only 1 of those seasons like he had last year (trust me, as a Giants fan, I would know this) and so don’t expect too much from him this year. Expect them to do much of the same as what won them 13 games last year, only this time they won’t be sneaking up on anybody.

3) Houston Texans (9-7)

This team is slowly getting better and better each season, and people are noticing. Not enough people yet, but the word is getting around. What the Texans really need this season is for Matt Schaub to stay healthy for 16 games. Schaub has a hell of an arm and a solid bunch of receivers to throw to. Andre Johnson put up Pro Bowl numbers last season, most of them coming with Sage Rosenfels throwing to him, and Kevin Walter is one of those quiet, under-the-radar guys that put up 10 TD’s last season without anyone really noticing. Add talented TE Owen Daniels to the mix and Steve Slaton, one of last year’s breakout rookies and there is a great, young team to watch in Houston. Oh, and their defense is pretty good too.

4) Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11)

I’ll be honest, I don’t know that much about the 2009 Jacksonville Jaguars. I just know that they were 5-11 last season and that I’ve heard very little about them since training camp started. So I can only assume that they’re pretty much the same guys that were 5-11 last season. Am I right? Correct me if I’m not. Maurice Jones-Drew will put up some great fantasy numbers, but I wouldn’t put a lot of stock in David Garrard. Luckily the Jags have another option now at quarterback just in case things get shaky…they just acquired Luke McCown in a trade from Tampa Bay. At least football fans in North Florida still have the Seminoles to get excited about. Wait, what was that? They lost their season-opener to Miami last night? Sorry I mentioned it then.

AFC West

1) San Diego Chargers (14-2)

Luckily, the last division of this preview is also one of the least exciting divisions in football right now. The Chargers went into the playoffs last season as possibly the hottest team in football, but just couldn’t out-muscle the Steelers. However, don’t forget that they won this division at 8-8. It was equal parts of San Diego winning the division and equal parts of Denver giving the division away to the lowest bidder, and the Chargers are certainly not without flaw. In fact they are far from perfect. They are talented though and have a gunslinger for a quarterback, plus they get to play 6 games against the Broncos, Chiefs and Raiders, which should be enough to win the division on its own. Basically, I have to get behind an AFC team and I choose to be unoriginal and go with the Bolts. Don’t expect me to pick them in the playoffs though, because the man standing on the sidelines with the clipboard is still Norv Turner.

2) Denver Broncos (7-9)

They tried their absolute hardest to lose this division last season, and that was when they still had Jay Cutler. Also before Brandon Marshall completely lost his mind. I’m getting angry while I write this. I actually used to respect the Broncos but I don’t know — I can’t do this anymore, forget it.

3) Kansas City Chiefs (6-10)

The winners of the Matt Cassel Sweepstakes! They’ll have a fun year convincing themselves that they didn’t overpay for someone else’s back-up. I have faith that Cassel will be good for a few extra wins. Plus, Cassel-to-Bowe seems like an exciting possibility. Hey Kansas City, let’s keep Larry Johnson out of bars this season!

4) Oakland Raiders (3-13)

Games won in the last six seasons: 24. Games lost in the last six seasons: 72. Last season with more than 5 wins: 2002. Is Al Davis still alive? Probably. All bad signs for the 2009 Raiders. What’s even worse is that Al Davis is convincing himself on his deathbed, that JaMarcus Russell is the future of Oakland Raiders football.  What’s ironic is that the definition of a black hole (the Raiders’ name for their rabid section of armor-clad, face-painted fans), is a dying star that has collapsed on itself. Much like the Oakland Raiders.








MEGA, SUPERSIZED, COLOSSAL 2009 NFL Season Preview, Part II

2 09 2009

Continued from Saturday’s first part, previewing the NFC South and NFC West…

NFC South

1) Atlanta Falcons (12-4)

There’s no telling whether last year was a case of beginner’s luck for quarterback Matt Ryan or whether he actually is the real deal. This season will be the ultimate test for Ryan and the young Falcons offense. There’s no overlooking the fact that the offense is stacked, but it’s all going to come down to the running game and whether or not Michael Turner can repeat last year’s monster season. If the Falcons can run the ball as well as they did last year, it will once again open up the passing lanes for Ryan. They have a solid receiving corps in Roddy White, Michael Jenkins and Marty Booker, capable of breaking big plays and with breakaway speed perfectly suited for Ryan’s cannon of an arm and propensity for throwing the deep ball. The NFC South was one of the most competitive divisions last season and I expect that it will be once again this year, with four very talented teams. If Atlanta can duplicate their success from last year, which abruptly ended in the playoffs against destiny’s darlings the Arizona Cardinals, they should have a big year in store.

2) New Orleans Saints (11-5)

Drew Brees put up record-setting numbers last season and he did it with little help from the rest of his team, which finished the season with an underwhelming 8-8 record. The Saints have all of the offensive firepower necessary to be a dangerous team late in the season…all they have to do is get to a point where they can allow themselves to compete into January. Three years removed from an appearance in the NFC Championship game where they lost to Chicago, New Orleans appears to be inching their way back to the offensive powerhouse that they were in 2006. With a two-headed backfield threat in Pierre Thomas and Reggie Bush, the running game should be successful enough to provide Drew Brees, one of the most efficient passers in the NFL, with ample time to throw the football to Marques Colston, Lance Moore and Devery Henderson. With a similar offensive style to the Falcons, expect some quality shoot-outs between the two teams when they meet in Weeks 8 and 14.

3) Carolina Panthers (9-7)

Watching Jake Delhomme implode in last year’s NFC Divisional Playoff game against Arizona was like watching a train wreck happen in slow-motion. And I’m sure it was no better for his teammates watching the game from the sidelines. Or even on the field with him for that matter. The quarterback once known for being a proven leader, who once had the Panthers seconds away from a Super Bowl title, is now better known for melting down and giving games away. I’m pretty sure that there was a point during that playoff game against the Cardinals where Delhomme had completed more passes to the Arizona defense than he did to Panther receivers. That’s not a good sign. However, that’s going to be the story of the season for Carolina. Sure, we can have countless stories shoved down our throat by FOX about how his Tommy John surgery has made his arm ten times stronger, and how he’s a great game manager and all of that, but the truth is, Jake Delhomme no longer is the great underdog story he once was and for the Panthers to be successful he has to make more plays than mistakes. It won’t be good enough anymore to sit back and watch DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart do all the work; or heave deep balls down the field and hope Steve Smith can run under them.

4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-10)

Relying on Byron Leftwich and Luke McCown to drive your team’s success is like letting your wife plan your bachelor party. Leftwich was named the starting QB over McCown late last week, and Bucs fans probably breathed a sigh of relief….but they collectively turned their sighs into boos when Leftwich overthrew Kellen Winslow (and every other Bucs receiver) by about 60 yards in the last preseason game against Miami. In fact he overthrew so many receivers that Joe Buck actually (and this really happened) blamed it on the Florida humidity. The Bryon Leftwich Glory Days are over. I can feel the excitement from here.

NFC West

1) Arizona Cardinals (11-5)

Let’s be completely honest here, the Arizona Cardinals could probably win this division with an 8-8 record. They did it last year at 9-7, and there’s really no one in this division that screams “NEW AND IMPROVED FOR 2009!” this season. So with Kurt “I’ll buy you puppies if we make the Super Bowl” Warner returning for another year as well as Anquan Boldin, we’re basically looking at the same Cardinals team that was minutes away from upsetting Pittsburgh in last year’s Super Bowl. Once you get past the fact that Larry Fitzgerald is on the cover of Madden 10, it shouldn’t be a problem for the Cardinals to repeat as division champs.

2) San Francisco 49ers (9-7)

The Niners looked like they were a team on the rise towards the end of last season, winning 5 of their last 7 games under new head coach Mike Singletary. Singletary, the former Bears great, took over midway through the season for Mike Nolan after a rough 2-5 start and went 5-4 the rest of the way, salvaging as much hope as he could from an otherwise lost season. Once you put the Pants Incident to the side and forget about his much-publicized confrontations with rookie tight end Vernon Davis, Singletary was exactly the presence that the 49ers needed in their locker room and he should be a major factor in the rebuilding of a once great franchise — providing that he keeps his pants around his waist. With talented young players at the receiver position and in the backfield, the only other glaring issue they need to address is the quarterback position. Former number one overall pick Alex Smith has been such a bust that San Fran would have been better off drafting a pepperoni pizza with their first pick in 2006. Neither Shaun Hill nor Smith are what the 49ers need to move forward and the quicker they realize that, the better off they will be.

3) Seattle Seahawks (8-8)

There’s no question that last season was a major disappointment for Seattle fans. Those poor, poor Seattle fans. First, they lose their beloved Supersonics to Oklahoma City and then their beloved Seahawks end their string of 5 consecutive playoff appearances (one of which led to Super Bowl XL) and 4 consecutive division titles, by finishing 4-12. The Seahawks, famous for retiring the number 12 for their “12th man” (representing the deafening crowd that fills Qwest Field for 8 Sundays in the fall) could have used a 12th guy on the field last season when they were embarrassed week in and week out. Going into this season the Seahawks haven’t done too much to improve their roster or their chances of exorcising last year’s demons. They did sign former Bengals WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh back in March so they can own the distinction of having the player with the most unpronounceable last name in the NFL, but unless Matt Hasselbeck can stay healthy for a full season, it won’t matter much. The truth is, Hasselbeck isn’t getting any younger and it seems like his best years are now behind him.

4) St. Louis Rams (4-12)

New head coach Steve Spagnuolo (former Giants defensive coordinator) should bring a much needed spark to the 2009 Rams, and at the very least he should be an upgrade from the Scott Linehan Error (Oops, I mean “Era”). Regardless, it’s going to take awhile for the team to get adapted to a new system and aside from a three week stretch in the middle of last season where the Rams beat the Redskins and Cowboys and then took the Patriots down to the wire, the team hasn’t shown any signs of life in two full seasons (they are a staggering 5-27 since the start of the 2007 season). Marc Bulger, once a reliable starter who was capable of putting up gaudy numbers has disappeared over the last few years, mostly to injuries and a revolving door of young, unproven (and unheard of) wide receivers. This season the Rams expect to start Donnie Avery, Laurent Robinson, and Keenan Burton at WR, and if you’re scratching your head wondering if I just named current NFL wide receivers or the cast of Saturday Night Live, don’t worry, we’re in the same boat.

Coming on Friday, it’s Part III of the NFL Preview, featuring the AFC East and AFC North