It’s Monday morning, and since everyone hates Monday mornings I’m going to switch things up a little bit and go for something a little different. Here I present to you all of the sports thoughts roaming inside of my head, matched up with a relevant song I am currently listening to. Think of it as the ultimate marriage between music and sports, or a way for me to wow you with my diverse, eclectic and mostly superior taste in music.
Jay-Z – D.O.A. (Death of Autotune)
This is the Mets season. Dead on arrival. I mean, what else could you possibly expect from a team that suffered two consecutive late-season collapses and is paying Oliver Perez, a pitcher with a below .500 record for his career, an astounding $12 million? That’s like ABC paying $1 million an episode to the dog that plays Vincent on LOST. However, Mets fans have to be excited that the team failed to make a single move before the trade deadline came and went on Friday. Let’s hope Reyes, Delgado and Beltran are healthy again before the World Baseball Classic in 2012.
James Morrison – Nothing Ever Hurt Like You
This is also dedicated to the Mets. They are the ultimate sports hangover. No matter how good of a time you had with them the night before, you almost always wake up feeling regret and nausea. They are like a bad relationship that you’re afraid to bail on because it’s comfortable. They are everything that is painful about being a sports fan. And the worst is that whenever you think they’ve finally thrown in the towel and you’re ready to give up on them for the season, they string together five straight wins like they did last week, and they drag you back in, and then they kick you in the throat by losing 2 of 3 to the Diamondbacks. They make me happy that I don’t cheer for the Jets.
Silversun Pickups – Growing Old is Getting Old
Lance Armstrong knows what I’m talking about here. The man has not raced since 2005, gets back on the horse (read: bicycle) and manages to finish 3rd. He came within minutes of winning his 8th Tour de France, and although 3rd place isn’t 1st (not even in France), you have to hand it to the guy. Whether or not you believe his 7 Tour wins were because he took steroids (personally I don’t believe he did, but to each their own), his performance in this year’s Tour was impressive for someone who hasn’t raced in four years.
Third Eye Blind – Don’t Believe A Word
No matter what we continue to hear from the players being accused of using PED’s, it’s becoming increasingly hard for anyone to want to believe anything that comes out of their mouths. The excuses are getting so far-fetched it’s almost ridiculous (see: A-Rod’s sob-story about his mysterious cousin). So it’s safe to say that most of these guys are grasping at straws now and the supposedly confidential list of players who tested positive in 2003 is catching a lot of players off guard with it’s slow and deliberate leaking of names. Don’t trust anyone these days. Except maybe Albert Pujols (fingers are crossed).
Phoenix – 1901
I had a good joke to go here, but I forgot to write it down. I really enjoy this song, probably because it reminds me of 1901, which I think was the last year that the Mets were actually relevant.
Guster – One Man Wrecking Machine
Okay, so this is an older song, but what other song can better describe Michael Phelps right now? I dare you to top this one. After all the hoopla surrounding his loss to Paul Biedermann and the Curious Case of the Magic Swimsuit, Phelps responded like a true champion…and left everyone in the dust during the 400-meter medley relay last night. His butterfly leg helped the U.S. team set a world record of 3 minutes and 27.28 seconds in the event and gave Phelps his 5th gold medal in Rome. Don’t accuse him of looking ahead to the 2012 games just yet.
Cold War Kids – Something Is Not Right With Me
Something is not right with Tony Bernazard. The former right-hand man of Mets GM Omar Minaya was fired by the organization this past week after a string of wildly irrational behavior that dates back to last season. The final straw? Taking off his shirt and challenging several players from the Mets minor-league squad in Binghamton to fight. The ray of light that Mets fans can cling to following this latest debacle is that maybe this incident will be what makes the Wilpons consider giving Minaya the axe after this season.
Phoenix – Girlfriend
Dedicated to the recent break-ups in the sports world and the fact that mainstream sports media thinks that we really care about Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo’s relationship anymore than we care about Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian’s relationship. (For the record, both relationships are now over and I could care less about either one of them)
By the way, yesterday was my birthday. Send all gifts in unmarked bills and mail to the address that appears below, in invisible font.
